Batman: Arkham Saity
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: A year after the fateful events of Arkham Asailum, many sinister plots are hatching and Sai must stop it... That's the main thing, as to why, Hugo and some TYGER goons burst into DMC, trying to capture Sai. In a very short shoot-out, Trish was shot. Now Sai must go, kick ass and help Batman stop Protocol 10 and the new Joker, who's more powerful than ever before. What will happen?
1. Prologue

It was a fairly standard evening at the office (the spacey anime version, btw): Dante was at the shower, Lady was playing pool, Trish was... Out somewhere, she wasn't there, that's all I know. Lastly, Nero and I were having one of our rare not-at-each-others-throats moments, taking turns playing inFAMOUS 2 on the PS3 with my new 70-inch plasma Widescreen TV... With Netflix. I was currently playing and dispatched a large number of enemies with the Ionic Vortex (tornado) attack. "You think Trish can do that?" I asked Nero.

"I don't know, but I REALLY hope not." He said somewhat nervously, to which I nodded.

Almost immediately after this, Trish walked in and watched as I did the attack again, getting a smirk and a look in her eyes like she wanted to try that. "I wonder if I can do that." She said, about to walk out the door.

Nero looked at me like I just did something to doom the human race as I went wide-eyed. "I made a horrible mistake." I said.

Before she could walk out the door, however, the wall of the shop that the TV WAS ON! was blown up. A tall, bald, decently built man with a beard in a lab coat, looking like some form of scientist was stepped onto the debris of the wall, accompanied by a dozen soldiers who looked very well trained, "Good evening." He said, speaking in a German accent.

Needless to say, we were all shocked, but I was the first to grasp the situation, then instantly deadpanned. "That was a 70-inch... Plasma TV." I said, then took a deep breath in and put on a big fake smile. "So! How can I help you?" I asked in a way that would sound polite.

"You must be the infamous Sai Blade." He said.

"'Suup?" I asked, stretching out the word a bit.

At that moment, Dante burst out of the bathroom wearing only pants, nothing to cover his upper body, looking at the damage. "Oh, what the hell?! I just had this place repaired last week! I only paid off the bill yesterday!" He complained.

"Sometimes I think the gods don't want us to have a good office." I said, looking at him, then back to the guys.

"So, what do you want? And the answer better be fast, because I'm short on both patience and insurance." Dante said.

"I keep telling you to switch to Allstate." I said.

"Ah, Dante. Son of the great Sparda. What an honor it is to meet you." The man said, bowing slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you, too. Now talk, because honors don't fix giant holes in my wall." Dante said, reaching to his pockets, which anyone looking closely enough could tell were filled with Ebony and Ivory.

"Straight to business, then. Very well, I am here for Sai Blade." He said, looking at me.

"What's that now?" I asked, confused.

"I am Professor Hugo Strange-" He started.

"Not surprised." I mumbled.

"I am in charge of Arkham City and I am rounding up all former prisoners of Arkham Asylum. Your gothic friend is one of them. So I've come to collect him." He explained gesturing to me again.

"Hey! Just because 80% of my wardrobe is black doesn't mean I'm goth. I wear more than black stuff. And I don't wear make-up that makes me look like a ghost." I said. "And besides, don't you know anything? I was acquitted for wrongful persecution, unlawful and unwilling aid in police affairs and violation of Miranda Rights. That lawsuit is how I bought that TV you destroyed. Lucky for you I can by a hundred more." I said.

Dante smirked at this, looking between Strange and I. "You can have him." He said.

I had a confident smirk at first, but then my eyes went wide and I slowly turned my head to Dante, my face turning into a glare. "Have I ever mentioned I don't like you very much.

He chuckled at this. "Once or twice. But you didn't let me finish:" He said, looking back at Strange. "You can have him IF you pay for the wall." He said.

Strange merely gained his own smirk at this. "Neither myself or TYGER forces are to be held accountable for any damages done to civillian property while we are acquiring suspects and/or fugitives. I suggest you cooperate. My TYGER forces are highly trained and heavily armed, Taking them on directly would be a very poor decision." He said.

"In that case..." Dante said, pulling out his guns. "Get the hell out of my office." He said.

The guards stepped in front of Strange and he looked at us with a confident smile. "TYGER forces... Open fire." He said, walking out of sight as his soldiers began firing.

Trish was about to blast them all with lightning, but another soldier burst through the door with a shotgun and blasted her in the stomach. While this was not enough to seriously injure her, it was enough to put her down and out of the fight for about 10 minutes, due to having taken the hit at close range. But the fight wouldn't last 10 minutes as when Dante saw this, he triggered and tackled the guard who I now felt pity towards... Until I got shot in the head by one of the other soldiers, to which I triggered and rushed in, crippling them all within a second and throwing them all up against one wall together. **"You know how they always say that TV makes you violent? Well I say not having my TV, is making me pretty FUCKING violent!" **I said, laughing evilly as I noticed the piss stains on their pants and on the ground. **"What happened to you guys being highly trained and heavily armed?! It must've went out the window right after I snapped your gods-damned spines! Come on, pull out a blade, toss some grenades! Shoot me! Kill me! ….. GIVE ME A HUG." **I said, stepping forward.

"Really?" One of them asked in fear.

"Oh, god, no!" They all screamed as I charged in.

About 5 minutes later...

"Feel better now?" Nero asked me.

"Peachy, thanks for asking." I said, getting the last of the blood out of my hair.

Dante however, was still pissed. "Well, Sai, they seem to be after you. Why don't you see what this Arkham City place is all about. And while you're there, try to beat that guy within and inch of his life and then set him on fire." He said.

"You want me to break INTO prison? Yeah, that'll be the day." I laughed. My amused expression quickly changed to one of fear though, as he now loomed over me in his Majin form, surrounded by an aura of death. "Did I say 'that'll be the day'? I meant 'I'm on my way.'" I said, quickly rushing out the door.


	2. Breaking into prison! WHAT THE F!

Using my badass ninja stealth, I managed to sneak into Arkham City with no effort, not even triggering the guns on the wall as I climbed over. "My skillz!" I said confidentally as I dropped onto the nearest building. "Now then, what's step one?" I wondered to myself, looking around. After a quick inspection, I noticed that I was near the gate where prisoners are brought into Arkham City and 2 people in particular stood out: Jack Ryder and Bruce Wayne. "How the hell did they get themselves locked in here? Something tells me there's something more afoot here than just some crazy German randomly rounding up prisoners from the asylum..." I said as I continued to watch, knowing both had been either on a campaign for closing down Arkham City (Wayne) or digging into facts that the people running Arkham City would rather have kept quiet (Ryder). To my surprise, when Ryder and Wayne were attacked, Bruce managed to hold his own incredibly well, despite being handcuffed. He managed to beat his attackers and even save Ryder, helping him up, but they didn't get very far. The gates into Arkham City then opened to reveal Penguin and a thug snuck up behind Bruce and hit him in the back of the head with a steel pipe twice and Penguin stomped him out. "Oh, you know he's fucked now." I said.

Why does Penguin hate Bruce Wayne again?

[Something about a family vendetta. He says Wayne's family destroyed his, but SOMEONE is too lazy to actually read the facts he's uncovered from solving all of Riddler's riddles and challenges...]

"Why would I read when I can just beat the living shit out of people with more gadgets than I know what to do with?" I asked, following on the rooftops to see what my foreshortened friend (a nice way of calling Penguin a midget) had in store for the unconscious billionaire. "Besides, more than likely after someone who knows their facts reads this, they'll tell us in the reviews anyway." I said, crouching on a roof when they stopped in an alleyway.

Two thugs then threw Wayne to the ground at Penguin's feet as he turned around. "Wakey-wakey, Wayne!" He said, Bruce slowly and painfully getting up. "Oh, what's up? You need me to call your butler?" He asked. At this moment, when he raised his head enough for me to see his face, I noticed something I never noticed before... Then again, the last time I really saw Penguin was at that Christmas party he threw last year and I was WASTED. "What the hell is wrong with his eye?!" I asked.

Is that the bottom of a bottle?!

[You READ that one, you should know what happened!]

"I barely paid attention. I always thought that was a monocle!" I said, looking in disbelief.

As I was freaking out over the eye, Penguin was explaining why he was about to beat the shit out of Wayne as he slipped on a set of brass knuckles on his left hand. "This... Well, let's just call this good, old-fashioned revenge." He said as he pulled his hand back.

"Cannot beat a classic." I said in my Jason Statham voice, nodding in approval at Penguin's choice of weapon. This then turned into shock, however, when Wayne grabbed and broke Penguin's hand after he threw the punch. "Uh..."

Anyone else not expecting that?

[Apparently you CAN beat a classic.]

He then proceeded to beat the crap out of Penguin's thugs, even managing to free himself from the handcuffs, knocking them all out and taking out Penguin as well. "I can't contact Alfred from down here. I need to get higher." He said, climbing up various things and starting to make his way up the building I was on.

"I'm bored now." I said, then noticed- "Ooh. A helicopter. [Hijack!]" I said, jumping across various buildings to get to a chopper in front of a courthouse. I got on the little legs it can land on or people can stand on, shoot from, etc., when suddenly, I heard an announcement from it. "All units, this is AIR TYGER 4, we have confirmation that prisoner 4011 is in the courthouse Repeat: Catwoman is in the courthouse." The guard in the chopper said.

"Catwoman?" I asked.

You think she's still mad about that thing we did during the Christmas party?

[A: Don't spoil it yet. B: I highly doubt she knew it was us.]

"Is she in danger?" Strange asked over the communication thing.

"Affirmative. Target is being held by Dent, we believe he intends to kill her. How should we proceed?" The pilot asked.

"That can't be good." I said.

What's his issue with her? Seriously, now he wants to kill her and at the Christmas party, he had us-

[DON'T SPOIL IT.]

Strange chuckled at this. "Stand down. Let Two-Face have his fun." He said, amused.

"[What an asshole!]" I said along with my head voices and Adam Sandler, as I played that line from his movie 50 First Dates (Go to YouTube and type in Adam Sandler what an asshole).

"Understood." The pilot said, starting to fly away, so I dropped down.

Back with Bruce...

"That doesn't sound good." He said, now as Batman.

"No, it does not. Mr. Dent's predilection for all things binary may not bode well for Miss Kyle." Alfred said through Batman's communicator.

"If there's one person in Arkham City who knows what's really going on, it's her." Batman said, looking from his crouching position, glaring as a familiar figure dressed in black with white hair entered the courthouse. "And things may have just gotten worse." He said, glaring.

Back with me...

I just entered the courthouse and casually walked into the courtroom as Two-Face was talking to himself, something that was obviously catwoman hidden behind a red curtain above a vat of acid. "The only way to get by in this place is to earn ourselves some respect." The right/sane side of the deformed gangster said.

"Fear, that's how we get respect. Show them all how we do things." The burnt/evil side said.

"We should be fair, though. This is a place of justice after all." D1 (Dent 1, Good side) said.

"Screw justice! Kill her and they'll all fear us!" D2 (Dent 2, evil side) said.

"Hey, yin-yang! Did I miss the hearing?" I asked, walking into the crowd.

This got his attention as he turned to face me, his thugs all backing away, knowing my reputation. "Well, look who it is. The spiker." He said.

"Hey, that was your idea." I said.

Flashback...

I was chilling with Two-Face and Deathstroke at Penguin's Christmas party last year, a little bit after what happened at the asylum when Two-Face turned to me. "Hey, how about we spice this thing up a little?" He asked in the way that both sides are on the same page (you know, he has 3 ways of talking: The good side, the evil side, then like a normal person).

"As long as it's not something that won't get me an invitation next year, the booze here is awesome." I said.

"Nothing major. Just slip this into the cat's drink. Ivy's, too." He said, handing me two pills, pointing to where the two girls were, Ivy talking to Catwoman about a vacation she would go on and asking if Selina would water her plants while she was gone (it's the only scenario I can think of as to why Catwoman needed to water Ivy's plants).

"Now, this is nothing rape-y, right? I'm not about that life." I said for confirmation.

"Of course not. Just something to loosen them up a bit." D2 asked.

"You don't have to do it, you know that, right?" Deathstroke said.

"Come on, Slade, it's a party." I said with a smirk, putting a pill in each hand and sneaking around behind them. After I had managed to go undetected, I walked up and put my arms around their shoulders, acting drunk. "How's it going, girls?! Great party, huh?" I asked, laughing and dropping the pills into their drinks while they were looking at me.

"Sai, are you okay?" Ivy asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm just a bit drunk! I think I had too much of that champagne!" I laughed, holding my face (if you watch Soul Eater, picture what Stein was doing in that episode where he danced with Medusa).

"I'd say more than a bit. You may want to slow down a bit." Selina said.

"Oh, trust me, I'm fine. Hey, have you guys seen Bane? I told him earlier we'd do some arm wrestling." I said, still keeping up the drunk act.

"I'm pretty sure he's somewhere over there."Ivy said, pointing back in the direction I came from.

"Okay then! See you both later! Have a great rest of the night!" I said, walking away, pretending to stumble a bit. Then, once I was out of sight, I walked back to where Two-Face and Deathstroke were.

"Points for acting." Deathstroke said.

"They didn't catch you?" Dent asked.

"Nope. I'm slicker than the gods-damn Batman." I said.

Looking back over to the girls, they drank about half of what they had left and were noticeable a lot tipsier than before. And I could still hear everything they were saying. "This is getting boring. We need to liven this place up!" Ivy said.

"Well, hello..." Selina said slyly, looking at Harley, who was standing near the fireplace, something of a wall flower, currently still on her own, having left Joker like I suggested. "Harley's looking pretty sexy, tonight, isn't she?" She asked, nudging Ivy and pointing towards Harley.

"Too sexy to be on her own tonight." Ivy said as they both walked over to her.

"Exactly what was it you had me put in those?" I asked.

"A cocktail of some good stuff. Don't worry. Nothing harmful." D2 answered.

"Well, hello, Harley. What are you doing here, all by yourself?" Catwoman asked, grabbing Harley by the hips, pulling her close to her, pressing their boobs together and grabbing Harley's ass with both hands.

"Whoa, hey, what's the big idea, furball?!" Harley said, trying to pull away, but then Ivy was behind her, wrapping her arms around her from beside.

"Now, now, Harley. That's not very nice." She said, nibbling on the clown girl's ear.

"Ivy?" Harley asked nervously, turning her eyes to try and see the plant girl behind her, who was now sucking on and kissing her neck. "Hey! No, stop! It tickles!" She said nervously in between giggles.

"Well, baby, we're just getting started." Selina said as she reached for the button and zipper on Harley's pants.

[Didn't we only rate this T for teens?]

Shut it! And this is perfectly fine! There's no nudity or anything... Yet.

"Something tells me this is gonna be a good night." I said, watching as the two continued to get freakier with the confused and slightly scared clown girl.

Back to now...

What?! That's all we're telling them?! Come on!

[We're not the type to get THAT graphic. Besides, we don't know how to write a good sex scene. Long story short, the two of them woke up naked in bed with Harley and both freaked the fuck out... And Harley's usually a lot more nervous around them than she used to be]

"Ah, good times, good times." We both said in a pleased tone.

"But now then: Bring out the defendant!" He said, the curtain falling into the acid below, revealing Catwoman tied upside-down.

"Hey now, isn't this a little extreme? What did she do this time?" I asked.

"Stole something very important from me. Do I need to elaborate?" He asked, pointing his gun at me.

"I've played the game, it was a phone chip. How important could that POSSIBLY be?" I asked.

Watch, we're gonna get a review telling us how important those are! Heh heh!

[Readers, please DON'T do that, we really don't care.]

He then fired a warning shot past my cheek, cutting it. "Okay, I get it." I said, going silent.

"You certainly know how to keep a girl hanging, Harv." She said, looking at him, annoyed.

"Yeah, the whole duality thing must take a lot of time." I said, noticing one side of the room is normal, the other side is ruined and on burnt.

"Hey, have you had some work done?" She asked him.

He responded by bitch-slapping her. "That's for stealing from us! No one steals from us!" D2 said.

"I'm sorry I've been a bad kitty. Untie me and I'll make it up to you." She said.

Without missing a beat, I was the first one to reply. "Someone cute her down RIGHT NOW." I said.

He then raised his gun at me again. "You want to be the one to try it?" He asked.

"Hey, you still owe me for the Christmas party. That was entertaining, but I still didn't get anything from it." I said.

"The entertainment should've been enough." He said.

"Yeah, well it was more your idea than mine, so if you want to get technical, I did you a favor." I said.

"What ARE you two talking about?" Catwoman said, annoyed.

"Nothing, nothing, it's not important." I said. She may not be able to do me any lasting damage but if she's anything like my cats at home, I still don't want her scratching me.

"And why should I let you have this favor?" He asked.

"Because I could even up the other side of your face. And not only would that ruin your little thing of two's you're so fond of, but I think that being burnt to a crisp is Firefly's gimmick." I said.

There was a brief look in his face that could only be one thing: fear. He then turned back to normal and pulled out his coin, tossing it into the air.

Damn, where's Pyrrha when you need her!

[This could be a problem.]

It spun a few times in mid-air before he caught it and set it down on his hand. I saw from the way it was going it would be the burnt side that landed up, so just as he was pulling his hand away, I used Bullet Time to stop time and flip it so the shiny side was up, before returning to where I was. "Thank you, Bayonetta." I said, turning off Bullet Time.

Two-Face looked disappointed, but then cut her down, her nimbly landing on the edge next to him, out of harm's way, not in the acid. "Get out of here." He said.

"We appreciate this, man. I'll see you the next time Penguin throws a Christmas party or something." I said, getting ready to leave, but Catwoman wasn't satisfied yet. "Ah-ah-ah. What about my things?" She asked. That was the wrong thing to do, as he pulled out his pistol and aimed it at her head.

"Now I am gonna kill you!" He said. But before anyone could react, some type of wire shot around his feet and yanked him up to where Batman was. I then took this opportunity to knock out his thugs before they could try anything.

"Demon speed and ninja skills, can't beat it." I said with a smirk. Batman dropped Two-Face down so he was now hanging above the acid as Selina had been. He then dropped down a good distance in front of me and pulled out a batarang, but I brought a hand up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait wait! You know as well as I do I have complete immunity from the Justice League for defeating Doomsday. So you are contractually prohibited from bringing me any form of harm, trying to arrest me and impeding my actions. As how things stand right now, you can't do jack shit to me." I said confidently, folding my arms. He growled at this, but then put away the batarang.

"Anyone ever tell either of you that you're full of surprises?" Selina asked us as she took a cellphone off Two-Face.

"I hear that everywhere, yeah. In the battlefield, when I'm hitting on women at the bar, when I'm playing pool with Dante or Nero, in bed with my girls, you name it." I said.

"I figured you could use my help, Selina." Batman said.

"Why would she need YOUR help when I'M here? That's like the difference between you and Robin right there. Why call Robin when you're around and why call you when I'm around." I said.

Hell yeah!

[Like a boss.]

"I could use some help. I think I chipped a nail back there." She said.

"Funny." He said as she jumped down.

"So what do you need Mr. Detective?" She asked.

"This is a question for both of you. Protocol 10. What do you know?" He asked, looking back and forth between us.

"Never heard of it." She said, then both looked at me.

I paused for a moment before finally answering. "Da fuq is that?" I asked.

"That's not what I wanted to hear. What about Strange?" He asked.

"That better be directed towards her because first of all, watch your attitude with me, mo'erfucker, I'll kick your ass. Second of all, I don't know anything about him. I only met him tonight. He broke into the office, destroyed my 70 inch... PLASMA TV! then tried to arrest me, Trish got shot, Dante got pissed and I had the options of getting my ass kicked or figuring out what he's up to." I explained.

Catwoman answered now. "I don't trust him. He's been missing for years and then is suddenly put in charge of running Arkham City. Rumor has it he's been working with Joker. Planning something special just for you. Maybe that's 'Protocol 10.'" She said.

"One more reason for me to put a bullet in his head." I said.

"Not as long as I'm here." He said.

Both me AND Catwoman deadpanned at this, giving him a look as if to say "REALLY?". "You're REALLY gonna try this, aren't ya?" I asked. Suddenly, I heard something.

"Twinkle twinkle little bat. Watch me kill your favorite cat!" I heard Joker's voice, his irritating laugh being heard before having to stop and cough violently.

"Good news and bad news: Joker doesn't sound too good. Bad news: get down, he's gonna shoot!" I said, all 3 of us dropping to the floor as he fired, missing his target and now none of us were where he could see us.

"See you soon, Bats. And you, too, Sai." He said.

"And I'll be the last thing you ever see." I said to myself.

That line was pure badass genius right there!

"This place is dangerous. I like it." Selina said.

"If only all women were like you." I said.

"It was Joker." Batman said.

"I already said that." I said.

You're not safe here. No one is." He said.

"9 lives, remember?" She asked, using her whip to pull herself away.

"Nothing Joker could do can kill me. You should know that by now." I said. I then quickly flashed back to when Joker was aiming in with the laser scope was, remembering the angle the laser was at when he fired, looking out the window to see where the laser could have come from and found only one place: a giant, tower-like church. "Alright, Joker. Time for a little game of find and beat the life out of the clown." I said, breaking through the window, but not before hearing from Batman's communication thing in his cowl.

"Protocol 10 will commence in 10 hours." Strange said.

Uh-oh.

[That can't be good.]

"I guess I'll just have to commence his ass-kicking in 9 hours." I said.


	3. Joker's deadly new plan

I quickly went to the church I found out the bullet came from, observing the three guys . "You cold?" The first one asked.

"Of course, I'm cold! It's freezing out here and Harley left us out here to keep watch!" The next one complained.

I dropped down in front of them at this moment. "Maybe I can fix that." I said, quickly roasting them. "Like a boss." I said.

[So Harley's here, too? Shame.]

Yeah, you'd think after what we'd told her at the asylum she'd have smartened up a little bit!

"Eh. Joker's got some sort of effect on her. I don't understand it, but then again, I'm willing to bet my sanity is more intact than hers." I said.

Uh...

[This coming from a dude who talks to a couple of voices in his head and regularly roasts people alive.]

"Not much more intact, but still more-so than her." I said, entering the church.

I went through the first and second set of doors and ran into 4 goons a few feet down the hall and Harley doing hand-springs and other gymnast moves towards me, presumably to attack. "Coming through, demon boy!" She said, throwing a kick, but I quickly, yet gently, put her down on the ground.

"First of all, it's demon man now, not boy. I'm a full-fledged adult now. Second, in all sincerity, yours was one face I was hoping not to see in here." I said, basically saying I wished she was not in prison and away from Joker.

"Yeah, well, I'm not. I'm back with Mr. J. And he really needs me now." She said, starting to get up.

"Let the lady go, demon! Or all these people get a bullet in the head!" One of her thugs snapped.

"I'd do what he says. It'd be a shame to get blood over my nice new outfit." She said, her outfit like a sexy biker chick. "What do you think, fire-face? Like it?" She asked.

"... I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, what was that?" I asked, looking up from her boobs.

"Of course you do, who wouldn't?" She asked, not paying attention as I snuck around behind her, my attention now focused on her ass.

Lady can't hurt us for LOOKING!

[And she's not here, anyway. This is what we call one of our break times. Where we can do something she may not like, but get away with it because she won't find out.]

"So anyway, here's the deal." She started, turning to face me and I quickly looked up to look her in the face. "Mr. J's really not up for a visit right now." She said.

"Perhaps he should've though about that before he started shooting at me, the bat and Catwoman. Aren't you friends with her, anyway? The Gotham sirens or something?" I asked.

… What the fuck is that?

[We don't really know, Draco told us about it once.]

"Oh, well. Anyway, he's not feeling himself... Well, actually, he was earlier, but that's not what I meant." She said.

"T.M.I, Harley, T.M.I..." I said, shooting myself in the face to make me forget she said that.

"He's not feeling so good and that idiot doctor I sent from here didn't help!" She continued.

"Oh, remind me to make him a get-well-soon card, I think I have one in here." I said, rummaging through my coat pockets, finally pulling out one that said "hope you pull through".

"How thoughtful..." She said sarcastically, clearly not happy with my lack of caring. "I've seen more smarts from these bozos than that doctor." She said, then turned to them. "I've gotta run, boys! If he tries anything funny, KILL HIM!" She ordered, going to the door.

"You should know by now that they can't." I said as she left.

I turned back to them at that moment, looking down at Ice (the gun) in my hand. "Now I know what you're thinking? How many shots has he fired? 3... or 117? Well, you've gotta ask yourselves one question: Do I feel lucky? Well..." I asked in a badass tone like Clint Eastwood, pulling out Fire and aiming at them. "Do ya? Punks?" I asked, charging up a shot in each gun. The two in the middle started to run, but then I released the charge shots and blasted them in half, crossing my arms over each other and shooting the last two in the head before they could react, killing them instantly. "I think I win." I said, nodding. I then looked at the hostages in the center. "Hey, you're safe now. The assholes are dead." I told them.

"Thank god. Hey, Sai, thanks for the help." A familiar voice rang out. I looked at them to see my favorite one-handed prison guard, Aaron Cash.

"Wow. Surprised you're here. If I were you, I would've retired after what Joker pulled at the asylum." I said.

"Yeah, well, after you sued everyone that worked there, this was my only option." He explained.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I just make it a point that if I'm wrongly arrested to sue as many people as possible who work at the facility I was sent to." I said.

REVENGE!

[And money, too, of course.]

"Well, anyway, I'll talk to you later, I gotta go kick Joker's ass for shooting at me and some friends with a sniper rifle." I said, working my way up the tower to where Joker should be and popped into the room from below. "HERE'S JOHNNY!" I said, but then deadpanned when no one was in there. "Dammit! There goes a badass entrance down the drain." I said, looking around, seeing the Sniper Rifle was fired automatically with remote controls.

Suddenly, the various televisions on the various Joker manikins came to life. "Well, look who it is. I haven't seen you since, how long has it been? There was an asylum, some monsters, a movie producer and, oh, that's right! You left me to die." He said.

"Yep, one hell of a party. We forgot to do a cast party after the movie, so I guess I didn't see you at all afterwards." I said.

"Yes, of course you wouldn't remember it that way, but who cares? You just need to worry about the bombs." He said.

"What is it with you and bombs, seriously?! It gets old after a while." I said, annoyed, looking at the bombs lining the room.

"Hurry up, now! Clock's ticking." He said, the screens turning off.

"Now, I must jump out the window a true badass!" I said, quickly diving out of the window, avoiding the explosion, landing on the nearest building. "Okay then, let's see here." I said, pulling out a map. "From what Two-Face told me the last time I talked to him about this place: He owns the area around the courthouse, Penguin owns the museum and all the territory until the courthouse area and Joker's turf is on the other side of the island from Penguin and to the left of Two-Face. So he should be at the steel mill." I said.

Yay for plot convenience!

[You don't need a bunch of fancy gadgets when you're a badass.]

It was obvious I was going in the right direction: clowns dressed as thugs everywhere and then when I got close, I heard Harley come over the speakers. "Listen up, dumbasses! As you know, Mr. J is... He's... He's not himself." She sniffled a bit. "And the last thing he needs is demons or so-called superheroes coming in here and stopping his recuperation! That's where you come in, morons! You need to protect the steel mill! Protect it with your life. Because if you fail, I'll make sure your miserable lives don't mean zip!" She threatened.

"Man, it must suck to have her as a boss." I said, landing in front of the doors to the steel mill, shocking the guard.

"Hey! No one's allowed in here! Least of all you!" He said, aiming his gun at me.

"I'm a friend of Dave Navaro's." I said, using the force to control his mind.

"You're a friend of Dave Navaro's." He repeated.

"You saw me here last week, I seemed like a cool dude." I continued.

"I saw you here last week. You seemed like a cool dude." He repeated.

"Move along." I finished.

"Move along." He repeated, stepping out of the way.

"Thanks." I said, then thought of something. "Oh and if Batman comes through, he's allowed in, too." I said, going inside.

"Oh and if Batman comes through, he's allowed in, too." He repeated.

From there, I quickly, snuck in, reaching the main room where a great many of Joker's thugs were, all not believing the clown's illness as I hid a shadowed corner of the room. "It's a trick. Joker wants you to think he's sick. Then wham! Gotcha." One of them said.

Then, Harley came out of the main office above where all the thugs were. "I promised you some entertainment, didn't I boys?" She said, bringing out a female doctor who I'm assuming failed to cure whatever ailment Joker was suffering from.

"Please... I did my best." The doctor pleaded.

"Well, you should've tried harder." She said, pushing the doctor down to where the thugs were. "That useless quack has failed Mr. J... You know what that means!" She said.

"It means that she tried her best, but can't do it and she can go now." I said, stepping into view.

"You! What are you doing here?! Get him!" She ordered, the thugs rushing me.

"You guys wanna know one of my favorite drinks? It's called the ring of fire. Why don't you guys try it!" I said, shooting a fire ring from my body that continued to shoot outwards, quickly roasting them alive, missing the doctor, as she was still on the ground.

"What are you doing here?! You're supposed to be dead!" She said.

"Really, I don't think so." I said.

Like hell we'd die in OUR fanfiction!

[We're indestructible.]

"Well, there's no way you can get to us up here! We're safe and sound up here! And you can just stay down there and burn!" She said, storming back into the office, which closed up with metal doors.

"Burn... Good idea." I said, burning the steel doors in front of the office, melting or causing them to fold inwards towards themselves, leaving the path open. "Ha ha! Victory!" I said, jumping up and into the office, only to be kicked in the face by a big, bulky, one-armed guy. "Oh, gods!" I said as I fell out of the office. "Oh, my face!" I said, holding it after I hit the ground, then rolling out of the way when the dude jumped out and more thugs came out.

"Surprise, fire-face! Meet Mister Hammer! He's gonna teach you some manners!" She said.

"I will crush every bone in your body!" He said, swinging his hammer, but I grabbed the nearest thug and moved him in the way, him taking the hit for me and getting his skull shattered. I then pulled out my guns again and shot the last of the thugs except the hammer guy.

"Just you and me now... Let's dance, asswipe." I said in a confident tone, taking my fighting stance.

"You will die for that insult!" He said, swinging his hammer, but I easily ducked under it and punched him in the face, sending him reeling. Then, when his back was turned to me, I stomped on the back of his calf to bring him down on one knee, then grabbed his face and smashed it INTO the floor literally.

"Man, Harley, you really went out on a limb to try and stop me, didn't you?" I asked.

Ha! Did you see what we did there?!

[Missing an arm joke.]

Suddenly, I heard what sounded like a heart machine flatlining. "No!" Harley said.

"The last thing I heard~ Was you whispering good-bye~ And then I heard you flatline~!" I sang the start of the chorus of Skillet's "Not Gonna Die", walking into the room.

"You!" She said in anger.

"Wow, so he really is dead. Well, that makes my job, easier. Sorry for your loss." I said to her.

[NOT!]

"This is all your fault! Back at the asylum! You pushed him to take that TITAN! Then you beat him to a bloody pulp! None of this would've happened if it weren't for you!" She snapped.

"Hey, I never pointed the gun at him. It was his own choice to turn himself into a 'roided out monster." I said, turning back to Joker and noticing something. "Wait a minute..." I said, noticing small signs of life from the body in spite of the flatlining heart monitor. Suddenly...

"Surprise!" Joker said, jumping onto my back and putting a mask on my face like the ones they put on you during surgery to give you oxygen and the gas that knocks you out. I relatively easily threw him off, but the gas was taking effect: my vision was going blurry and it was hard to keep my eyes open.

"Batter up!" Harley said, hitting me over and over in the head with her colorful baseball bat. After about 20 hits, everything finally went black...

Meanwhile...

Batman had finally gotten into the loading bay where I had laid waste to all the thugs. "Sai had to have done this. But where is he now? More importantly: Where's Joker and Quinn?" He asked, then looked up to the office. He quickly climbed up and was shocked to see what he was seeing: Harley was forcing another doctor at gunpoint to cut open Joker's chest to cut out his heart, then the doctor started to cut open my chest. "No!" He said, about to rush in.

"Ah-ah-ah, B-man!" Harley said, pressing a detonatory, the floor beneath him blowing up and launching him out of the office and out the wall at the end of the room, into the water below...

Back with me...

I started to wake up, my vision still blurry, but clearing up now, to the point I could see Harley holding a knife in front of my face, until Joker waved her back. "Get back here, Harley!" He demanded.

"Aw, but puddin', I wanna see if he can die now!" She said.

"If he didn't die after the surgery, nothing is gonna kill him. Save your strength. You'll need it, later." He said, getting her to come over to him.

"Ah, you lying bastard, you're perfectly fine." I said in a growl.

"How nice of you to say that. And as of right now, you're right. But earlier, it was lucky you got here. Didn't think I'd make it much longer without you." He said.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"Well, my blood was poisoned by TITAN. It was killing me. My heart started skipping a few beats. Lucky, I found a donor!" He said, opening up his jacket and shirt enough to see the scar that was now starting to seal itself. He then pointed to my chest and when I looked, I saw the exact same scar sealing itself as if it had never been there. At that moment, I finally understood.

"You bat-shit crazy bastard. You cut out my FUCKING Strawberry Tart." I said in my Jason Statham voice.

"Huh?" Both clowns asked, looking at me and tilting their heads in a confused manner. I then pointed to my chest and this popped up below me: "Strawberry Tart= (image of a heart)". For those of you that haven't added it all up yet, they cut out my heart and put it in the Joker. Luckily, as I've found out from Dante repeatedly impaling me, stabbing me through the heart and on a few occasions even ripping it out, I can regenerate my organs.

"Oh, in that case, yes. I've got the heart of a demon in me now! I'm feeling better than I ever have before. And stronger than ever!" He said, effortlessly picking up the desk in the room with one hand with various heavy office equipment, including a computer and Harley on it.

"You sneaky, under-handed prick! What are you gonna tell me next, you've been shipping out your blood for the past couple weeks to Gotham hospitals in case you needed to force Batman to help you?!" I asked.

"Actually, yes. That was my original plan, but then I found out you were here in Arkham. Now I'm healthy as a horse and Gotham is gonna die!" He laughed, kicking the wheelchair I was tied to out the window behind me, causing me to land on the hard ground below, breaking the chair and freeing me, although I could've easily freed myself.

"Sai!" Batman said, landing nearby.

"Oh, hey, good to see you, we are in a REAL cluster-fuck right now my friend." I said as he helped me up.

"What happened? All I saw was a doctor had cut open Joker's chest and had just started opening yours." He said.

"Yeah, it's a long story, but due to pressing matters, I'll have to keep it brief: Joker used me for a heart-transplant. He's completely healthy and stronger than ever now. If he wanted, he could rip you in half just like Kratos does in God of War. Worse news: He didn't know I was going to be in Arkham City, so he made a plan for you in case I wouldn't be around for the heart plan: He's been shipping out his poisoned blood for weeks to hospitals all over Gotham. Meaning anyone who needs emergency blood or anything will get poisoned and die from Joker's blood." I explained.

"What?!" He demanded.

"I know, he's gone completely insane. So, what's the plan?" I asked.

"I had heard from some of his thugs that he had Mr. Freeze making a cure for him, but he hasn't heard from him for a while." He explained.

"Do you want to find the snowman?" I said in sing-song, parodying Frozen.

"Exactly. He'll have to be kept at sub-zero temperatures to survive." He said.

"That's not hard to find, it's the middle of Winter. This is when I start my Christmas shopping." I said.

"Relax. I can adjust my cowl to find the coldest point in Arkham. We'll find him." He said.

"Good, then I can get back to Joker and pull a Kano on him, rip MY heart out of his chest and show it to him as I crush it." I said.

HEAR US, JOKER! FOR YOU HAVE AWAKENED OUR WRATH!

[The clown is GOING TO DIE.]


	4. Curing Gotham

I followed Batman as he led the way to the coldest point in Arkham City to find Mr. Freeze, when suddenly, a gunshot rang out. "Deadshot!" He said.

"Really? You never expect a guy like him to get caught. I mean he's one of the world's best assassins, you'd think he'd be next to impossible to catch." I said.

"He's been hired by Strange. I need to find out why." He said.

"Okay, you go, I'll find Freeze." I said.

"How?" He asked.

"Well, as a fire demon, I can sense temperature down to the exact degree, so I can find the coldest area on my own. No gadgets necessary." I said.

"Fine. But hurry." He said, taking off.

Yay! No more bat! We can do what we want now! Why did it have to be Deadshot, though?

[Originally, it was gonna be Zsasz and the payphones, but then we remembered we killed him in the last story.]

Oh, yeah, that's right! Hey, why do they call Deadshot the world's deadliest assassin, though? He's not!

[That would be Deathstroke.]

"Ah, man, I haven't seen Slade in a while. Wonder how he's doing?" I wondered as I continued on. I quickly tracked it down to- "[The old GCPD building?]"

What the hell would Freeze be doing with the cops! He's a bad guy! He hates cops!

[My guess is he's probably using one of the old forensics labs.]

"Oh, goodie! Maybe there's some stuff there I can use to make explosives." I said, quickly killing the thugs in the area, lifting up a large garage door thing and entering. I then hid around the corner as I heard some chatter.

"Joker's crew are still outside, Mr. Cobblepot." A thug said to Penguin over a walkie-talkie.

"Good. Make sure it stays that way." He responded.

"What if you're not part of Joker's crew?" I asked as I stepped into plain view.

"Oh, shit, freeze!" The thug said, aiming his gun at me, to which I held up my hands, but still didn't look at all threatened.

"What's going on?" Penguin asked.

"There's some guy here! He's not one of Joker's! And he's not Batman either! I don't know who he is, he's wearing a trench coat and he's got white hair!" The thug said.

"I'd prefer silver, thank you very much." I said.

"Put your weapon down and toss him the walkie." Penguin ordered.

"Yes, sir. Here!" He said, tossing the walkie-talkie to me and lowering his gun.

"Well, if it's not the life of the party from last year!" Penguin said, sounding pleased and ever dare-I-say friendly.

"Yeah, you know how to throw one hell of a Christmas party." I said.

"So, what's up? What are YOU looking for the snowman for?" He asked.

"Well, Joker went up to the next level of insanity after bat-shit insane that I have yet to name and for the past few weeks has been shipping his blood to hospitals all over Gotham, so I'm in need of his services." I said.

"Not for the wankin' clown, I trust?" He asked.

"No, he's found an alternative. I'll explain later." I said.

"Well, I suppose we could bargain a bit. Come on by the museum. And make sure you aren't followed by the bat." He said.

"Cool. See you then." I said, tossing the walkie-talkie back to the thug. "Well, it's your lucky day, I'm not gonna beat the shit out of you. You guys just chill here." I smirked at the last bit, walking out.

We're so funny!

[Can we really trust Penguin, though?]

"Hey, like he said, we were the life of the Christmas party. We're the whole reason besides the booze and snacks why it didn't suck. And like he said, we can bargain a bit and I have quite a lot I could offer him." I said, teleporting to the museum. I stopped and knocked on the door, the little eye slide thing for the guard or whoever to see opened and someone looked out at me.

"Hello?" A quiet woman with a Hispanic accent asked.

"Hi, I'm here to see Penguin, so-" I started before she interrupted.

"No, no. Misser (Mr.) Penguin no home." She said.

"Are you sure? He told me to come over and it's really important-" I started before she interrupted again.

"No, no." She said, closing the thing.

I then leaned in towards the door before speaking again. "Hey, look! Penguin's cat escaped! I sure hope he doesn't blame the help!" I said, jumping away from the door.

Said door then burst open with Consuela from Family Guy rushing out, looking all around for a cat. "Oh, kitty! Kitty, kitty, kitty!" She called out as she continued to run and search.

I casually entered, melted the face off a couple of thugs that came at me with knives and walked through the path, as Penguin dropped the security bars for me. I walked in until I was attacked by an animatronic T-Rex that came from nowhere and chomped down on me. "Oh, my gods! Jurassic Park tried to kill me! This proves it! Animatronic characters can't be trusted!" I said, prying open it's jaws.

[We should've already learned that from 5 Nights at Freddy's.]

Yeah, you'd never expect cute little children's icons would be deadly, murderous beasts!

"Sorry about that, there, Sai. But since it's you, it can't have bothered ya too much, right?" Penguin asked over the speakers.

"Eh, I've had much worse. Usually from Damion or Dante." I said.

Flashback...

It was shortly after our time at Yokai Academy ended and I was hanging out with Tsukune from lack of better option when suddenly, Damion came from nowhere. "What's good, fellas?" He asked.

"Oh, sni-zap! Damion! Man, you look like you've been working out." I said.

"Yep. I can now toss around big rigs like javelins at the olympics." He said.

"Looking good, Damion." Tsukune said.

"Tsukune... Shut your little bitch ass up." Damion said.

"That's good and everything, but I haven't seen you in MONTHS! Where have you been, mah boy?" I asked.

"First of all, stop talking like Dashie, second, I've been in love, man. I just met this chick named Tiffany and she moved in the house right next to me." He said.

"Wait, the house RIGHT next to you?!" I asked, teleporting away.

"Yep. It's been going on for a little while. I never thought I'd say it, but I think she's the one." He said.

I then reappeared in front of him. "Man, I've got some bad news, you know your girl Tiffany? She JUST cheated on you, bro." I said.

"MOTHERFUCKER, WHAT?!" He demanded.

"Wow, how could you, Sai?" Tsukune asked.

"Hold up, why you guys looking at ME like that, I never said **I **did it." I said.

"Look, I know this motherfucker's stupid." Damion growled, pointing at Tsukune. "But what the fuck do I look like?!" He demanded, walking closer threateningly as I raised my hand in defense.

"Wait, Damion... I ONLY TOUCHED ONE TITTY!" I pleaded. Then all I saw is his fist coming at my face before everything went black.

Another flashback...

The gang had went out for another good night on the town and shortly after we got back to the office, one by one we started to pass out. I woke up slowly and tiredly the next morning and looked around, noticing I wasn't on the ground and I had my back up against the wall. Looking down, I noticed the massive claymore that is Rebellion impaled through my chest, effectively tacking me to the wall. "Gods-dammit, Dante." I said.

End Flashback...

"Yeah, so I've had worse." I said, going down the stairs and beating up a couple more thugs that were beating up a cop and stopping to talk to him. "You're safe. Any more of you guys here?" I asked.

"Yeah, the rest of my squad is further along." He said.

"Okay, peace." I said, continuing. I entered the main area that almost looked like an arena and saw a cop running for dear life.

"Help. Me!" He said weakly, but was killed from another shot from Penguin's umbrella gun.

"Not gonna lie, Ozzy, that was a dick move right there." I said.

"Really? And what are you gonna do about it?" He asked.

Oh! Dis modafucka just challenge us?! Kick his ass NOW! He need to get dealt wit'!

[CALM DOWN. We still need whatever leverage we have in this situation to get Freeze back and make sure we don't do something that won't get us invited to the next Christmas party.]

I paused for a moment before finally answering. "Nothing because I still need to be diplomatic so I can get Freeze and so you don't decide to revoke my invitation to this year's Christmas party." I said.

"Good head on your shoulders, boy. Now then, I'm what you might call a collector." He said.

"Yeah, I've noticed from the exhibits you've filled with Joker and Two-Face's thugs." I said.

"Precisely. If someone wants something, I like to think I've got it. And if I don't have it, I'll get it." He said.

"And your point is?" I asked.

"Well, I could use a trench coat like the one you've got. Why not cough up yours so I know it's authentic." He said.

"Well, I see some obvious tailoring issues here, but I've got others. You don't need only mine, I have back-ups to spare. Like the one I gave Juliet for her birthday." I said.

[Ever wonder what she uses it for?]

Hm...

With Juliet...

"Die, zombies!" She said, pulling a chainsaw out of a pocket on each side and mowing down zombies left and right. "That was a good work-out! Man, I'm glad Sai gave me this. It's SO much easier than my duffel bag." She said, now pulling out a lawn chair, a pair of shades, a magazine and a lollipop, sitting down and taking a break from zombie killing, enjoying her lollipop and reading a magazine about chainsaws.

Back with us...

"Yep, that sounds about right." I said, nodding.

"Well, I'm giving you the nice option. Another option is one of these display cabinets with your name on it getting filled up." He said.

"Ever heard of manikins?" I asked.

"Eh, not real enough. Anyway, you wanna be a good boy and give up nicely?" He asked.

"I'd like to throw out one more option. Joker's all healed up and stronger than ever. He can move fast enough to be gone as soon as you blink and strong enough to rip Batman in half with no effort. What do you think he'd do to you?" I ask.

"I'd say what the hell happen to him?" He asked.

"Well, the bastard cut out my heart and put it in himself, so now he's got all the perks of a demon. Stronger, faster and more durable than any human and a powerful regenerative factor." I said.

"Interesting. So you're telling me, if I get a heart transplant from you, the same would happen to me?" He asked.

"Yes, but I was thinking more along the lines of if you hand over Freeze, I'll stop Joker from ruining all your plans and making you scream like a penguin that got nabbed by a leopard seal." I said in a sly tone.

"Or, I could have my boys cut out your heart, put it in me and I'd be unstoppable to the Bat or the clown." He said.

"Not really, you'd be unstoppable to Batman, but you and Joker would be an even match. But considering your list of obvious problems, I'd put my money on Joker. And no matter how strong you both are, you'll never be as strong as a true demon like me. So if you crossed me, you'd die." I said.

"I'll take my chances. Get him, boys!" He said, his goons pouring in.

**Background music: Kung-Fu Fighting by Jack Black and Cee Lo Green**

I waited for them to come to me, then struck. I blocked the attack of the first one and delivered a knife hand to the side of his neck, breaking his corroded and jugular arteries, causing him to internally bleed to death, then I threw a side kick to the next one's face who was coming at me from the right, smashing his nose back into his brain, throwing a tiger strike into the next one, catching him in the chest and plunging my hand into his chest and ripping his heart out. Another one came at me from the right, but I threw the other dude's heart into his face, taking him off-guard and allowing me to deliver a spear hand into his throat. One came at me from the front, but I crouched and threw him over my shoulders and kicked him into the path that I came from, which was now blocked by a gate, which mangled him when I sent him through it. I then rushed at the next one and threw a jumping kick and simply planted my foot on the dude's chest, spinning my body and catching him with the other foot and sending him and a few guys unlucky enough to be behind him into a wall, me spinning in the air after the kick and landing perfectly in a crouching position.

[We have now proven our hand-to-hand combat skillz.]

Now let's use a super-badass Kung-Fu weapon!

(~Get along with the voices inside of my head~.) I sang in my head, pulling out a 9 sectional whip and, well, whipping it around... WITH SUPER BADASS SKILL! All precision strikes to the head, easily taking down the rest of them before Penguin decided to step it up a notch.

"Impressive moves and toys, but you weren't supposed to do that, my boy." He said, aiming his umbrella gun at me, to which I started stylishly spinning the whip in front of me so the odds were incredibly low that he'd actually hit me, but then he raised it up to some bird-caged looking thing above us, except it was closed. "You're forcing me to bring in the big guns." He said, shooting it off the hook and causing it to fall down in the center of the room, which I dodged, but the thing broke to reveal a TITAN monster.

"What?! You got your hands on TITAN?!" I asked, shocked, Batman quickly rushing up when he saw this, but he was still behind the gate.

"Sai!" He called.

"Would've been great timing if the gate weren't down. Hang tight and enjoy the show." I said,

The Titan roared and hurled the remains of his cage at me, but I expertly dodged. "He doesn't look happy to see you, Sai. Good luck." Penguin said, walking away.

"You don't need luck when you've got skill." I said, bringing the chain together before launching it out again, the tip jabbing the Titan in the collarbone area, stunning him and allowing me to run in and get the chain around his neck, making him my work horse for the time being. "Onward, Sea Biscuit!" I said, making him charge in and mow down the group of thugs Penguin sent in for support. I used him to smack them around and stomp on them a bit, before deciding he'd have enough. "Alright, I think we're done here." I said, forcing him to charge into a wall that knocked him out. I put away the whip and then ripped down the gate so Batman could come through.

"We've found Penguin." He said to whoever he was talking to on his cowl (I don't know who Batman is or Alfred. He knows Oracle from when she talked to Batman when I could hear on Arkham Island. Just something to keep in mind).

"We?" Alfred asked.

"I'm working with Sai. But things are worse than we thought. Penguin has a supply of the TITAN formula." He said.

"He's got what? How'd he get TITAN off Arkham Island? What's going on here?" Oracle asked.

"And now she's in on the conversation." I said.

"Nice of you to join us, Oracle. Alfred, bring Barbara up to speed." He said.

"Of course." Alfred replied.

"But-" She started.

"Stop talking, we don't have time! Gotta go!" I snapped.

"I'll be in touch." He said to them, then glared at me. "Was that necessary?" He asked.

"Of course. You were wasting time and I only told people 3 of the 5 steps of being a badass in Arkham Asailum. There's still 2 more. One of them being: Treat Batman and friends (or just people you don't like and friends) like crap." I said, continuing on. We then proceeded through a frozen pathway which I blew up with a large fireball, walking into what looked like the main area. Suddenly, across from us in the iceberg lounge entrance, we saw Penguin who fired at us, freezing Batman's arm to the wall, but I blocked the shot he fired at me and then several others with the black versions of Wonder Woman's gauntlets my brother made me. "~Wonder Woman~!" I said in sing-song.

"Stay where I can see you, boys! You wouldn't believe the fight the old snowman put up. Still, I got what I wanted. That's all that matters." He said.

"Not impressed! I can do that, too!" I said, shooting ice out of my hands at his feet.

He jumped back at this, but shrugged it off and fired at the cop running across the ice to where we were, Penguin shooting at him with the ice gun, but I shot small fireballs to stop the shots that might hit him, ignoring the ones that were missing due to Penguin's poor accuracy and the cop running. "Hold still, boy!" Penguin said, laughing in a bird-like manner, firing a shot that I didn't think would hit, but apparently hit the cop's ankle and froze him up to his neck, enraging Batman.

"Why didn't you stop that one?" He demanded, ripping his arm away from the wall and shattering the ice.

"I didn't think it was gonna hit him, SORRY." I said.

"When you're done in here, feel free to join me in the iceberg lounge so I can kick your arses again." He said, walking off.

"Ah, bitch, please." I said like Nappa, shaking my head, but then looking under the water, seeing a very large figure moving underneath. "Hey, Batman, what did you ever do with that Magikarp I gave you?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's useless. All I've ever been able to do with it is throw it at a thug's head to knock him down." He said.

"Then can I see it for a moment?" I asked. He handed me the Pokeball and I tossed it into the air, releasing the Magikarp into the water.

"Karp! Karp!" It said loudly, swimming around a bit, but was then eaten by a MASSIVE shark.

"Sorry there, boys! Did I forget to mention my little friend down there? Meet Tiny! Who would've thought a big fish could be SO useful! Not me, that's for sure. He's like a mobile garbage truck. Anything I drop in the tank just... vanishes. Poof. Problem gone." He said.

We both paused for a moment, Batman glaring at me as I just stood there. "Well... That's a thing. Okay, make a note, don't go into the water, because there's a BIG-ASS shark in there." I said.

Do you think Maikou will be pissed off we basically just killed a Pokemon?

[He doesn't really care about Magikarp, luckily. But still, he may not be too happy about it.]

Well, that's the 3rd stage complete. Killing someone's pet is REALLY treating them like crap!

"Moving on!" I said to change the subject.

"You go after Freeze. I'll go after the cops." He said.

"Good plan. Hang on a second, let me make this a little safer." I said, releasing Articuno, Regice and Kyurem to freeze the entire surface of the water and make the ice thick as solid ground. "There, now we can walk across safely. No fuss, no muss, no possibility of a big-ass shark eating us." I said, pulling out a sled, hooking up Houndoom and Mightyena to it and taking off towards the path left of the iceberg lounge.

Yay for the power of 4th wall breaking and references!

[Way to think outside the box.]

"You know, Penguin saying the thing about not thinking a pig fish would be that useful reminds me of my brother. His number one interrogation method is holding his victim over a tank full of piranha half the size of Penguin." I said to the 4th wall.

[The Black Rhom is the official name for that species. Large piranha that, surprisingly because their size, are pack hunters, not solitary like most large fish their size.]

Really big, badass black fish!

"Yep. And then after he gets the information he wants, my brother drops the victim into the tank. He knows how to party." I said, nodding. I got to the side I wanted to, withdrew my Pokemon and went inside, ignoring a rather disturbing message of penguin torturing one of the cops. I stopped when I came to a pathway where those bars suddenly raise to block the path for unauthorized personal, two thugs standing behind the bars confidently.

"Haha! Can't get us!" One of the two thugs taunted.

"Best security Wayntech has to offer. I heard Bruce Wayne's locked up in here! Why don't you ask him for the code!" The other one taunted.

"Or, I could do this." I said, rising my hand and melting the bars, Ghost Rider style. "Done talking shit?" I asked.

"Run!" The first one said, but when they turned and ran, I pulled out a couple of uzis, laughing maniacally as I shot them and they tried to run away while bullets were going through them. "Aw, I love doing that." I said, continuing. I went through the place, looking at all the exhibits, stopping when I saw Joker and Harley's hyenas in one of the display cases, dead and stuffed. "Oh, damn, that's just awful, Ozzy. Seriously, that is in TERRIBLE taste." I said.

Someone get PETA on the scene!

[No. Just no.]

"Yeah, PETA sucks." I said, going into the next room and getting ready to break the tank Freeze was held in, but then a giant one-armed guy with a scythe came from nowhere with a couple goons. "Hey, any chance you have a brother missing the arm you have and carrying a sledgehammer?" I asked.

"Yes, my brother." He said.

"Oh, I killed him." I said.

"You bastard! I shall slice you to pieces." He said.

"Nope, I will slice you into pieces." I said, pulling out the masamune (Sephiroth's sword), slicing him and the thugs with him to pieces. "I win." I said, shattering the tank Freeze was in.

"Thank you, Sai. Nice to see you. If Cobblepot kept me in there much longer, I would've died." He said weakly.

"Yeah, no problem, but listen, you know that cure you were making for Joker? I need it. He shipped his blood out to hospitals all over Gotham." I said.

"Yes, but first I need my suit and weapons. It's vital." He said.

"No problem. Penguin has it. I'll just politely ASK for it back." I said, leaving.

I then teleported myself into the Iceberg lounge in front of the path to get to Penguin. "So, you came back for another go, eh? Let's see how you handle the rapid fire." He said, firing at me quickly, but I easily stopped the shots like how Vader used the Force in Star Wars to stop the blaster bolts when Han shot at him. I then used the force to pull the gun away from Penguin, shooting him once in the chest and walking up to him slowly and threateningly. "No! Please! Don't hurt me!" He pleaded, but this fell upon deaf ears.

"You know, something tells me I won't make it to the Christmas party this year. So neither will you." I said, kicking him in the chest and knocking him down. "Now, then. Let's see what Freeze wants to do about you." I said.

"No! Please! I'm sorry!" He said.

"I'm not!" I said, aiming the gun at him again. He then laughed at this. "Me neither." He said, pulling out a detonator. Suddenly, the platform below me was destroyed and I fell to the ground below, looking like some kind of weird basement/evil scientists lab.

"Let me introduce you to one more friend of mine! Found him here when I bought the place!" He said, hitting another button and shocking a giant zombie monster on the other end of the room.

"Oh, my gods, it's a zombie! It's a fucking zombie!" I screamed, pulling out a howitzer and blasting him in the chest, then going Seras on them and pulling out those two giant-ass machine guns she brought down I THINK the Vatican's blimp with. "Bitches love cannons!" I said, unloading on him and ripping him apart, before pulling out her actual cannon thing and firing at him, blasting him to pieces and destroying the electric power thing behind him. "Steal your soul!" I said, using a mix of my Devil Trigger and Shang Tsung's soul steal technique to steal and destroy his soul, before I pulled out the hammer from God of War 2 and kept smashing whatever was left of him over and over. "Die! Die!" I said each time I smashed him until I finally felt a hand on my shoulder, turning to see Batman there.

"It's over. You finished him." He said.

"Oh, sorry. I just get a little edgy around zombies after watching that movie World War Z. Great movie, but those zombies were too OP. Zombies aren't smart enough to build a ladder with themselves and they can't run that also after that thing with Killabilly and needing the guys to help me kill it, it's kind of worrysome when you can't kill a zombie on your own, even if it's as big as a building, is disturbing" I said, then looked at him. "He sort of reminds me of the Hulk. Only much stupider." I said with a British accent.

We then reconvened with Freeze in the main lobby as he turned his focus away from a ninja woman I didn't notice the first time I came through. "Where. Is. Cobblepot?" He asked.

"One bird-like asshole, just as ordered." I said, tossing Penguin to his feet.

"Well, look who it is! Mr. Free-" He started before screaming as Freeze stepped on and started crushing his hand.

"Enough!" Batman said, but Freeze wouldn't let up. "Freeze! Enough!" He demanded.

"Of course." Freeze said, getting his foot off of him and grabbing him, smashing him into the case the ninja girl was in. "You will regret what you did, Mr. Cobblepot." He said, dragging the unfortunate midget over to a case meant for Bruce Wayne, throwing him in and closing it as I looked at the ninja woman and tried to figure out how to free her.

"The cure, Freeze." Batman said.

"There isn't one." He said.

"What?!" We both demanded, me stopping before I smashed through the glass with a metal baseball bat.

"Perhaps I should elaborate." He said, making a display with his suit. "Creating an antidote to the disease that afflicts the clown was easy. Unfortunately, the cure degrades too quickly. It needs a restorative element. Some kind of reforming enzyme. Without it, it breaks down before it can help its host." He explained.

"I've seen this before." Batman said.

"Finding a suitable enzyme is not the only problem, It needs to be adapted, bonded to human DNA. It would take decades. Time it appears Gotham does not have." He said.

"Wait, what about my blood. It's a cure-all. The reason I can never get sick. It's its own restorative element. And it can effect those that AREN'T demons as well. Case in point, the Joker, sick and dying, now after he cut out my gods-damn strawberry tart-" I started.

"Your what?" They asked.

"He means his heart, ya bloody wankers!" Penguin snapped.

"Thank you. Anyway, it can break down and destroy any disease. I've been trying to market it as a cure-all to replace even penicillin, but people are all antsy and concerned about drinking demon blood. I've been trying to make it into a pill, but we're still working on that." I said.

"Very well. Allow me a sample of your blood." Freeze said, getting closer, but then the ninja woman broke free, cutting herself on the glass, but then picking up pieces of broken glass and throwing it at us. Batman dodged and it simply broke against Freeze's suit, but several shards went into my chest.

"Blasphemer! No one may possess blood of the demons! Only the great Ra's Al Ghul and his descendants!" She said, escaping.

"Oh, you bitch, come back here!" I said, about to take off after ripping the glass shards from my chest.

[Quick explanation, getting stabbed REALLY pisses us off.]

It hurts, tickles and feels really annoying like a bad itch all at the same time!

"Wait! Your blood!" Freeze said, grabbing my arm.

I let out a long and annoyed growl before dislocating and ripping my arm away, leaving Freeze in complete shock as he held my no longer attached arm. "There! Use that! I'mma kick her ass!" I said, taking off as the arm grew back.


	5. Shocking Revalations

"NOBODY THROWS SHARDS OF GLASS INTO MY CHEST AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" I shouted in rage as I pursued the ninja girl who was attempting to escape.

Yeah! We aren't a dart board or target!

[And if someone attempts to use us as such: we shoot back.]

"You're only prolonging the inevitable!" I said in my Scarecrow voice as I chased her along the rooftops. Eventually, I chased her to a building where she attempted to fight back.

"Enough! I am a servant of the great Ra's Al Ghul! I cannot be defeated!" She said.

"Then how did you wind up in the midget's display case?" I asked. She yelled in anger and rushed at me, but I easily dodged her attacks with time to spare, like in DBZ where someone's too powerful for the other one and they just dodge back and forth instead of doing anything, but then 2 more ninja girls appeared on the roof beside us, circling me. "You know, under different circumstances, this could be sexy." I said, periodically turning my attention from one to the next.

"It won't get sexy as long as I'm around here!" A familiar female voice rang out.

"Lady?" I asked, looking up to see her parachuting in, aiming Kalina Ann down right... Where I was standing. "Oh, shit!" I said, diving out of the way as she fired, the blast knocking down the three ninja girls. "I love that woman." I said dreamily.

Gotta love a woman that regularly threatens to shoot you with a bazooka!

[It's not true love until you try to kill each other.

She then dropped down where I HAD been standing, pulling out her pistol and SMG, aiming at the two off to her sides, looking at the one right in front of her, who had been the main one I was chasing. "So, anyone care to tell me what was going on here?" She asked.

The girls all got up into crouching positions, but from the look of it, the knew better than to attack. "The blood of the demon belongs only to Ra's Al Ghul! Do not follow us!" The leader said as they quickly rushed off the building and disappeared, maneuvering swiftly so Lady couldn't shoot them.

"Damn!" She said.

"It's okay, I'mma get 'em. I can still smell her blood." I said, then looked at her closer. "Nice outfit, babe." I said. She was wearing the new suit I designed for her imbued with demonic energy and powers to give her enough physical strength to match Nero. It kind of looks like the Usurper's suit from Soul Calibur, which she wore her combat boots with.

"Figured I'd give it a try." She said.

"Okay then. Listen, we're in a REALLY bad way here. I need you to call Dante and the gang and get them to destroy all blood transfusion packs in every hospital in Gotham. Joker's shipped his blood to hospitals all over so Gotham is gonna be loading its patients up with death. And I need you to make sure Joker doesn't try anything. The bastard cut out my heart and put it in himself now he can take on ANYONE in this hellhole on his own. Keep me posted and if it gets crazy, RUN." I said.

"You know I can handle myself." She said.

"Yeah, but-" I started, but she interrupted.

"It's okay. I'll be fine. You do whatever you have to." She said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before rushing off to Joker's territory.

What a woman!

[Hard to find one quite like her.]

"That's why I hope she's careful and that she'll be alright. That suit may be powerful, but she still can't match Joker like he is now. She'll never be able to get around the regeneration." I said.

[She's a tactical genius. She'll be fine.]

Yeah. We can worry about it later. For now, let's just kill some bitches!

"Right." I said, taking off after them. I continued through the city after the smell of blood, jumped down into a sewer system, killed a bunch of Joker's thugs and continued to some ancient city looking place. "Whoa. Ain't this something?" I asked, looking around.

We've found the city of Atlantis!

[Most likely some ancient city that was built over in attempts to cover up something. But we don't have time to worry about it. We'd best pick up the pace.]

"Yeah, the scent of blood is fading a bit. Best move." I said, quickly rushing after the scent. I then arrived in another room full of Joker's thugs, who were getting weapons TYGER crates. "I'm sorry, but I don't think those are yours." I said.

"Oh, shit, it's the demon! Waste him!" The leader said, all of them unloading on me.

I looked down at my bullet-filled chest, then back up to them. "My turn." I said, pulling out a pair of Skorpion Evo SMG's, loading all of them up with bullets, blowing the steam away from the end of the guns. "I love my job." I said.

Nice shootin', Tex!

[Fastest gun in the Northeast.]

I walked into the next room and saw more of Joker's thugs surrounding a female doctor. "Please! Don't hurt me!" She said.

"Oh, we won't darling. Not a pretty little thing like you." One of them said to her.

"Can I have her?" The next one asked.

I then jumped onto the gargoyle in front of them all and aimed one of the guns at them. "You know, I never heard her imply consent. No means no." I said, shooting all of them, then looking at the doctor. "You're safe now, you'll be fine. Just try to find a nice place to hide." I said, gesturing her to leave with the gun. I then continued through the door with a bunch of announcement for something called "Lazurus" playing, but I didn't really pay attention. Just continued on until 3 ninja chicks appeared in front of me. "For the last time, I'M the only one that does the ninja shit!" I said, throwing a couple of smoke a smoke bomb at my feet.

**Background music: "That's a ninja's life" by iSekC on YouTube.**

I then silently appeared behind the girl furthest to the left in a crouching position, before jumping up and chopping the back of her neck to knock her out. I then silently snuck up on the other two, knocking the first one out with a pair of nunchaku and punching the last one in the stomach hard enough to knock her out. "Badass ninja-ery." I said. I continued into the even nicer part of the city, stopping at a giant gate. "Giant gates... My natural enemy... My ONE weakness." I said, turning away from it. "Well, we're not going that way." I said.

WHAT?!

[You mean to tell me you're gonna let a gate stop us?]

"'Course not, motherfucker!" I said, turning around and throwing a fireball the size of an SUV, blasting the gate into a dozen pieces. "Let's go." I said simply as if I DIDN'T just blow up a gate. I then walked for a little bit before coming to a place called "the chamber of demons". "Hello? Anyone home? Particularly the chick who threw a bunch of glass into my chest?" I asked, looking around.

The girl then dropped down, accompanied by the other two, all aiming their swords at me. "You should've listened to my warning! There are no friends to save you down here!" She snapped.

"Don't need them." I said, simply, punching her head off of her shoulders, turning to face the other two with my arms spread out wide, my fists on fire.

"Stop!" A new voice rang out, the girls stopping.

"Huh?" I asked, turning to see a girl in long leather boots and sexy tight leather pants, a shirt and leather jacket covering her upper body but exposing her midriff, wearing black gloves. She was slightly pale, but other than that, pretty attractive. "Why hello there." I said in a seductive tone.

"I've heard about you from my Beloved. I take it you are Sai?" She asked.

"Oh, beloved. So you're not single." I said, looking down.

Damn!

[What a wasted opportunity.]

"Yes, I'm Sai Blade. Badass demon ninja, at your service." I said.

"I see. Another demon. Perhaps you could do what my beloved could not and take place at my father's side." She said.

"That depends, on what exactly are we talking?" I asked.

"We are attempting to save the world." She said.

"Well, that's basically what I do already. You ever heard of the Blade Clan?" I asked.

She seemed shocked at this. "Yes. One of my father's greatest allies. Although they do not share his vision of the future." She said.

"Then I'm not sure I'm inclined to join whatever this is here. What's your plan on saving the world?" I asked.

"A prime example: Gotham. It is rotten to the core. It must be destroyed. Uprooted and given a chance to begin a new. That is the goal of the League of Assassins." She explained. That's when I realized it: The league of assassins are allies of the Blade clan, but we have GREATLY conflicting ideals. We are like a desperately hungry person with moldy food: We pick off the bad stuff and only eat the good stuff, in other words: Kill criminals and leave civillians, but the League of Assassin's idea is to throw away the whole meal and get a new one, kill everyone to try and start fresh. That doesn't exactly jive with us. And this chick had to be Talia Al Ghul, daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, the Blade clans greatest frenemy, as we can somewhat follow and agree with him, but we can wholly take his side on the issue.

"Oh, hell no, I'm outta here." I said, starting to walk off, only to be surrounded by ninja women with swords. "This is one of the sexiest deaths I could imagine, not gonna lie." I said.

"You have 2 choices: Take the demon trials or die." Talia said.

"On second thought, the demon trials sound pretty fun." I said, following her after she opened up a stairway.

Hey, didn't Lance once try to get with Talia?

[Yeah. He actually thinks their crusade is a good idea, but he can't go with them as he won't betray our clan's ideals.]

(Eh, he's always been a drama queen about this stuff. He thinks humans are gonna be their own destruction.) I thought as I followed Talia.

"Go, through this door, the trials await. May the spirits be kind." She said.

I walked through and noticed it was just a dead-end room with a goblet in the middle. "Welcome, Blade ninja. I am the great Ra's Al Ghul. Before you lies your first demon trial. Simply drink from the chalice. It is THAT simple." Ra's' voice rang out in the room.

"Let's do this!" I said, feeling pumped, downing what was in the goblet. "Ugh, gross, it taste like demon blood." I said.

Awful stuff!

[One more reason it doesn't sell very well as a medical product.]

"Good. Feel the blood of the demon course through your veins. Restoring your health and twisting your will." He echoed once again.

"I always have demon blood in my veins, it's nothing new." I said, shrugging.

"Your next task is simple. Follow me through this world. Touch anything along the way and you will die." Ra's said, now beside me in spirit form, flying over to a blue crystal pillar.

"[That's fucked up.]" My head voices and I said at once as I sprouted my wings and flew after him.

I landed on the pillar with him and he spoke again. "These tests prove that you are strong enough to lead my forces. To save the world from the evil that is destroying it." He said.

"I already do that. And in a much less psychotic way than yours." I said. He then flew to the next pillar and I flew after him. He then laughed and spawned sand clones of himself. "You know, if these are demon trials, I might as well be a demon for it." I said, triggering and easily blasting the sand clones away.

[~Blow me away~!]

"Are you the one I have searched for, ninja? The one to succeed me?" He asked.

"Pro'ly not." I said as he flew away. I then flew after him and saw he went into a sand vortex/portal. "Whoa." I said.

[That doesn't look inviting.]

Well, we can't exactly turn back now!

"YOLO!" I shouted as I flew into the portal, appearing in a new place. "Oh, that wasn't so bad." I said.

"Take heart. It's not over yet." Ra's said as he flew off.

"I can't take a heart, Joker already took mine." I said jokingly.

I then followed him through the rest of the place and this time took out 4 of his clones simply by flicking them in the forehead. Demon powers, bitches! "It is time to face me in person! Complete this final test and you may do what you will." He said.

"Sweet. I'm getting tired of this sandy place." I said. I followed him once again and wound up back in the room once again. "Huh, so I didn't really go anywhere, I was just tripping balls." I said.

[Sounds about right.]

Oh, the crazy things that happen to us!

I then went back up the stairs and met up with Talia again. "You did well. Your final challenge awaits through this door." She said.

"Let's do it." I said. We walked through the door and saw Ra's crouched down in front of the Lazurus pit. "Hey, Ra's, how's it going? Haven't seen you for a while? You haven't been attending those celebrations my clan throws for its allies for the past couple years." I said.

"Father." Talia said.

"You've done well, ninja. Now kill me. It is your final test." He said.

"Why would I want to do that. All I came here to do was cap one bitch who threw a bunch of glass into my chest. Now I can go." I said.

"Not until I am dead." He said.

"Look, Ra's, you're a good guy, my family still thinks highly of you, you're just going about this the wrong way, which is also a way I WON'T go about things. My area of expertise is killing criminals, not everyone." I said.

"And that is your final answer?" He asked.

"Can I call a friend?" I asked.

He chuckled at this before falling back into the Lazurus pit, emerging young and powerful again. "Now, only one of us can leave this chamber alive." He said.

"Eh, I don't know. We'll see how the dice roll." I said. Suddenly, the wall cracked and sand poured in, everything going dark. When everything became bright again, we were back in the sand world. "Oh, not this crap again." I said, annoyed, looking around, alert for danger. He then fell from the sky and landed on the ground like Iron Man.

"You should've killed me when you had the chance." He said.

"You are still needed for the plot to continue. But once the true reason behind Protocol 10 is discovered, then you have my permission to die." I said like Bane from The Dark Knight Rises. He rushed at me, but I easily blasted him back with demon energy. "Rejected!" I said as he flew back.

"Witness the true power of my lazarus pit!" He said, creating a giant sand version of his upperbody behind him.

I simply lit it on fire and turned it into an glass version of what it once was. "Look what I made!" I said.

Now that's art right there!

[Suck it, Draco.]

"Draco, I'm just kidding, man, you know you're my boy." I said, flashing a peace sign to the 4th wall, then shattered the thing. Ra's screamed and sank into the ground, so I waited and sensed around for him. He then rose up from the ground, swinging his sword in a frenzy, but I pulled out a pair of sais and easily trapped it. We then flashed back to humanity and Talia circled us.

"We are destined to rule this world, to wipe it clean of the scum of humanity, only we can do this. My father is old, his time is over, our time is just beginning! Take his blade, kill him. Accept your destiny. Accept our destiny." She said.

"That's fucked up, right there." I said. "Save the destiny crap for Neji Hyuuga from Naruto, don't preach that shit to me!" I said, throwing Ra's to the ground.

"Then you will have to die." Talia said as everything returned to the trippy world. Ra's disappeared again into the sand, but then burst out with a hundred sand clones, all ready to attack me.

"Chaos... Blast!" I said, using my devil Trigger again, the burst of demon energy destroying all the clones and sent Ra's flying. He then sunk into the sand again and came out as the giant upper body of himself again. "Oh, this trick again?" I said, annoyed, pulling out my holy katanas and fueling myself with holy energy and the blades with demonic energy, releasing my version of Vergil's Judgment Cut technique, but mine is way stronger, easily severing the head of Ra's giant torso thing. "DECAPITATION~!" I said like Jack Black, blasting Ra's in the chest with beams of holy energy, knocking his sword away from him and sending him skidding back across the ground, reality back once more. "Good night." I said, bashing him in the head with the butts of the Katanas' hilts, knocking him out.

"Okay, I'm outie." I said, leaving.

"You should've joined our crusade. Destroying humanity is the only way to save the world." Talia said.

"Eh. There's still hope for humanity. Just watch those videos on YouTube: The video that made the world cry." I said, disappearing.

So what now? We still need a page or two for this chapter to be as long as our other ones!

[Might as well see what Mr. Freeze is up to. Batman is working on the side quests, so that's not an option.]

"Yep, that's how I'm doing it, folks. Do the badass important stuff and let the Bat take care of the little side missions I don't wanna do." I said as I was now back in Arkham City and was now on top of the ACE chemicals building.

Suddenly, Strange's voice came over the intercom once again. "Citizens of Arkham. As I speak, there is a new inmate entering my facility. The more nostalgic among you will recognize him as Quincy Sharp. Mayore of Gotham City and failed warden of old Arkham Asylum." He said.

Our bad!

"How the hell did he become mayor? I even snuck into the ballad booth, emptied out all the votes for him and loaded the voter's box up with more votes than there are citizens in Gotham!" I said.

All our hard work down the drain!

[Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?]

"Please provide him with the welcome he deserves." Strange said, basically saying "go fuck him up".

"What do you think, guys? Should we go help him?" I asked. Me and the two voices then burst out laughing and reached the same conclusion. "[Yeah right! Screw him!]" We said at once, but then I got a text on my phone. It was Dante.

_Watching the news. Saw the mayor was arrested. Make sure he stays safe or consider your ass kicked._

"Oh, come on! I don't owe that prick ANY favors." I said, texting that.

_**DO IT. **_This was followed by like 10 angry/violent emoticons.

"Okay, fine." I said, putting the phone away and looking for him.

This sucks! Why do we have to do what Dante says?! He's not our dad!

[No, but he has a majin form we don't have that could crush us with no effort.]

Oh, yeah...

"Definitely better to stay on his could side when you know you can't beat him." I said. I finally found the mayor being beaten up by 5 thugs. "Hey, guy's, how's it going?" I asked.

"Whoa, it's the demon!" The thugs said, backing away.

"Now, I'd love to let you have your fun with him, personally, I'd like to kick his ass, too, but I'm under direct orders from my boss, who is a TOTAL dick, by the way, that I am not to allow the mayor to be harmed if I want to live to see another day." I explained.

"Yeah, well who gives a shit?! We got a bone to pick with him! And if you get in the way, we'll kick your ass, too!" One the said, stepping up.

"Oh? See that would be intimidating if you were... Well, intimidating." I chuckled.

"Are you mocking me?!" He demanded.

"Oh, no, no, no no no... Pfft, yeah!" I said, pulling out my guns and shooting all of them in the chest.

[Shot through the heart!]

"Quincy! Good to see you. That's still a really stupid name, by the way, Qunicy. Your parents must've hated you." I said, grabbing him and flying up to a tall building with a balcony, holding him over the edge.

"No! Please, no!" He said.

"Why don't you tell me more about this place. You know, like about Strange and what it's got to do with you." I said.

"I'll tell you everything! Strange came to me back at the asylum! He said he had friends! Powerful friends! The sort of people who could make things happen! All I had to do was turn a blind eye to his experiments and work on my campaign. He said his friends would ensure that I won!" He explained.

"Oh, so that's how you won even after I tried my damnedest to sabotage your campaign." I said, nodding in understanding.

So he cheated worse than we did!

[I knew something had to be up.]

"And these friends would be?" I asked, tossing him up in the air and catching him by the ankle again as he fell.

"I have no idea! I never met them! They funded everything! Money was no problem. All I had to do was set up Arkham City and put Strange in charge! It made perfect sense! The scum of Gotham needed to be punished! It would be my legacy!" He said.

"Well, apparently Strange must think you're scum, too. And hell, compared to you two, everyone seems to be scum. He's locking up everyone he can: the guilty, the innocent, men, women, Chingy." I said, pointing to the rooftop across from us where the rapper Chingy was chilling with two women and his own music playing.

Scary movie 4 reference!

"Half of these people don't belong here and are here because of you. Not much of a legacy, huh?" I asked, about to bring him back over, but then my hand was cut off and he fell to his death. "Whoops." I said, looking at the perpetrator and was shocked to see who it was. "No..." I said in disbelief.

It can't be!

[It's impossible!]

"Hello, counterpart..." The figure said.

Back with Batman...

He just finished dealing with The Mad Hatter when Oracle called him again. "Bruce, I've got some REALLY bad news." She said.

"What is it, Barbara?" He asked.

"Sai was sloppy back at the aylum. He took a lot of damage and left his blood and other samples of DNA everywhere. Strange collected some and made a full dozen clones of him! Fortunately, all the samples he managed to collect where damaged, so the clones are defective, so they aren't as strong or fast as Sai and look almost nothing like him, but they are still at least a match for you!" She said.

"That's not good." He said.

Back to us...

**Final lesson of being a badass: Kill your clone!**

There was no denying that this figure was a replica of me, but it was entirely wrong. It was dressed the same as me, but entirely in white and a blue shit instead of my red one and his hair was black and a Bowie Knife in one hand. "What the hell?! What are you?! Are you supposed to be me?!" I demanded.

"What the hell?! What are you?! Are you supposed to be me?!" He asked mockingly, then laughed. "You sound like a jerk!" He said.

"Why are you being an asshole?!" I demanded.

"Oh, you want to know why? The answer is simple: I'm a badass! And you're a dumbass." He said.

[These things must be REALLY defective...]

Of course! You can't copy perfection!

"You're a goody-little two-shoes! ~You're a goody-little two-shoes~! You're a goody-little two-shoes~!" He sang mockingly, dancing around.

"Shut your mouth!" I snapped. He then punched me in the face and managed to knock me to the ground.

"Goody-little two-shoes! Na na na na na na!" He said, mockingly.

Unbeknownst to him, however, I had allowed myself to be knocked down so he couldn't see me pulling out and charging up Fire and Ice as I got up. "Shut up!" I said, aiming both guns in his face.

"Uh-oh!" He said, before I pulled the trigger and blasted his head off.

"Clone, replica, I'm the badass with the guns." I said.

[Damn straight!]


	6. Bad shit's about to happen!

I quickly rushed back to the old GCPD building after disposing of my clone, then effortlessly disposed of Joker's thugs trying to break in and stop Freeze from making the cure. I got in myself and walked up to Freeze. "How's it coming?" I asked.

"Incredibly. I've mixed your blood in with the cure I already had. The results are phenomenal. Your words were indeed correct: Your blood is able to cure and destroy any known ailment in the modern world." He said.

"Great. So it's finished, then?" I asked.

"Yes. And locked safely in my vault." He said, gesturing to it.

"Great. Let's crack that sucker open and get it to the Bat. He'll know what to do with it." I said, going over to it, but stopped when he shot and froze it.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Sai. You have given me your last order." He said.

"Whoa, what's this about, man? We don't have time for this. Thousands of people could be dying in hospitals from Joker's blood." I said, then stopped when my phone rang with Dante's ringtone: The Imperial March from Star Wars. "Sorry, I know this is a bad time, but I'm getting a call." I said, answering. "Hey, Dante, what's the situation?" I asked.

"We destroyed all the transfusion packs we could, but they've still used AT LEAST a thousand of Joker's packs all across Gotham. You better get that cure soon. If not, everyone with that blood will be dead by morning." He said.

"Yeah, I know, I'm working on that. I gotta go, we'll talk later." I said, hanging up and looking at Freeze. "Now where were we? Oh, yeah: we don't have time for this, people are gonna be dying in mere hours. This isn't the time for negotiation." I explained.

"I think it is. The clown has my wife. Bring her back to me." He explained.

"Okay, that's no problem. You give me the cure now and I'll either deal with it later or have my girlfriend look for her now while I get the cure to the Bat and deal with the clown." I said.

"You will bring her back to me now, or you will die." He said, powering up his suit, preparing for combat.

"Freeze, you don't wanna do this." I told him.

"Oh, I believe I do. This theory has long intrigued me: whether or not I can freeze a fire demon." He said, aiming at me.

"A genius like you should know this very well: When fire meets ice, you know that ice melts." I said.

**Background music: "Scorpion vs. Sub-Zero rap battle" by Brysi on YouTube**

I threw two fireballs at him, but he simply shot them and the two attacks collided, turning to water, which fell and froze on the ground. I looked at this for a moment, then looked back up to him. "Damn!" I said, running and taking cover as he continued to shoot me. "Okay, we're gonna go for a different approach this time." I said, popping up, readying my L'Cie magic, electricity sparking in each hand. "DOUBLE LIGHTNING!" I shouted, shooting lightning from my palms Skyrim style, bringing him to one knee. "Time for a beatdown!" I said, rushing in and throwing a quick and devastating combo. I then kicked him in the dome and knocked him down and prepared to do a ground takedown like Batman (but better), when suddenly, a forcefield came out of his suit and blasted me away.

"That will not work again." Freeze said.

"Oh, so that's how we're gonna do it, then?" I asked, looking at him and triggering. "Time to wrap this up!" I said, easily going through the forcefield and once again throwing an incredible and powerful combo that I finished by blasting him in the chest with a burst of demon energy from both hands, sending him flying back into a wall, putting him out of the fight. "Can't beat demon powers, bitch." I said before turning back.

"Please. Find Nora. She's all I have left." He said weakly.

"You're lucky I feel sorry for you. I'll do this for you." I said, ripping open the vault. Unfortunately, the cure was gone, the back of the vault and the wall behind it was destroyed. A couple of pictures and cards of Joker in the place of the cure.

"It's over. That was all I could manufacture." Freeze said.

"It's fine. All we need is my blood, anyway. That alone can cure anything. Even your wife's disease and we may even be able to turn you back to normal, my friend." I said to him.

He gave a small smile at this. "Thank you, Sai." He said.

"No problem. Hey, do you still have my arm that got ripped off and is there still blood in it?" I asked.

"Yes, it's over there." He said, pointing to it. "And there IS still blood in it. I froze it in the event of something like this happening, but I don't have the other chemicals I require to manufacture it again." He said.

"It's fine. And I'll get your wife back to you, Freeze." I said, leaving.

[Harley must've taken the cure.]

Back to the Steel Mill!

"Damn, Joker REALLY wants to ruin Gotham, doesn't he?" I asked the voices as I left, after sending Lady a text to look around Joker's territory for Nora.

Suddenly, Joker came over the intercom system. "Well, that wasn't very nice of you, Sai. Trying to cure Gotham after I've spent weeks poisoning it? It's like you're TRYING to flush all my hard work down the drain. It's okay, though. I've got the cure and I've secured a little extra muscle to make sure you and the Bat can't get it back. Both of you are welcome to try, though. So come on over... DANTE." He said, that last one clearly a deliberate taunt.

With Batman...

"Joker. You've made A LOT of mistakes right now. Even I can't save you from what you just brought on yourself." He said, heading towards the Steel Mill.

With Lady...

She finished off the last of the thugs guarding Nora and was looking for a way to release her when she heard the announcement, smirking at the end. "Oh, he's screwed now." She said.

With me...

"Did he... Just call me... **DANTE**?!" I demanded, rushing at blinding speeds towards the Steel Mill with the intent to kill.

[Once is one thing. Twice? HE. MUST. DIE.]

KILL!

I got to the doors of the steel mill and ripped them off their hinges, flinging them at the thugs that were behind the door. "There. Now that I've calmed down, It's time for a both funny and badass entrance." I said, playing and singing Gwen Stefani's Hollaback girl as I tore through Joker's thugs. "~Well I heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that I would hear it~- Demon hearing, bitch!- People hear you talking like that, gettin' everybody fired up~! Literally!" I sang, shooting a bunch of Joker's thugs and setting a bunch more on fire. "So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack, gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you OUT~! Literally once again!" I sang, ripping a thug's head off while Batman and Lady were finding their own ways to sneak into the Steel Mill. I went into the next room, when I was ambushed by Joker's thugs, but handled it and beat them down like a boss! "Few times I been around that track, so it's not just gonna hap-pen like that!" I sang while killing more of them and searching around for Joker.

Ooh, this my shit! This my shit!

[We ain't no hollaback demon.]

"~So that's right, dude, meet me at the bleachers, no principal, no student-teachers~! -Cause I'm taking you to school!- ~ Both of us wanna be the winner, but there can only be one~! -Me!- ~ So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all, gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you~!" I sang, socking a thug in the face and taking his head off. "Just like that." I said, singing again. "That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust~!" I sang, finally stopping after that because of two things: one, I had achieved the funny and badass entrance I wanted. And two: I ran into a sight I couldn't believe and that I found hilarious: Harley all tied up with duct tape over her mouth.

That's what she gets for stealing from us!

[Karma's a bitch.]

"Man, Joker doesn't treat you very well, does he?" I asked, pulling the tape off her mouth.

"Well, look who it is? What do you want, demon punk? Come to stick the knife in some more? Well go on then, I don't care!" She said.

I looked her over quickly before speaking again. "I don't see a knife sticking in anywhere, but if you want I can fix that." I said, pulling out a machete.

"Go ahead! It won't do you any good! I got a demon heart too now! Mr. J cut his heart in half, then both halves turned into a whole heart, then he swapped the new heart with mine! I can heal from anything, just like you and Mr. J. I just... Don't have the strength you two got. YET." She said.

"Oh, that's not good. How many others did he do that to?" I asked.

"No one yet, but he's planning on doing that for his WHOLE CREW." She gloated.

"Thanks, Harley. Now shut up." I said, getting ready to put the tape back over her mouth.

"Don't you dare-!" She started before I did.

Hehe! Classic!

[I think EVERYONE wants to gag her.]

"Tell me about it." I said as I continued. I finally reached the room Joker was in, Batman and Lady arriving on scene as well.

"Joker. The cure. NOW." Batman said.

"Manners cost nothing, Batman. A please wouldn't go amiss." Joker said, his back turned to us, doing his make-up in a mirror or something.

"No, but bullets DO cost money, which I hate spending. So fork over the cure and I won't have to shoot you in the head." Lady said, holding out her SMG.

"You better listen to her, man. She's not even afraid to shoot ME in the head. And we're married." I said.

"Oh, how cute! You two DO make a lovely couple. And one of my favorite things to do is ruin happy couples! Normally by killing the woman and leaving the man to suffer.

"You sick son of a bitch!" Lady said, putting away the SMG and pulling out Kalina Ann, getting ready to shoot him, but Batman pushed the gun down.

"No! No guns, no killing." He said.

"Where's the fun in that?" Lady snapped, pushing him back.

"Why does that sound familiar?" I asked.

Joker then jumped down and walked up. "Well, none of you seem to know how to work together. But there's always time to learn. Let's start with 'getting your ass kicked 101.'" He said, getting in a pugilist fighting stance.

"And we're the teachers!" Lady said, blasting him in the chest with Kalina Ann, sending him back into a wall, then I punched him in the stomach hard enough to go completely through him, then flung him to the ground in between the 3 of us, getting ready to attack again, since I knew he'd survive that.

"Class dismissed." I said.

"Please... Stop! I can't take anymore! You win! You beat me!" He pleaded.

"How did he survive that?" Batman asked, watching in shock and awe as the wound was sealing.

"Because he cut out Sai's heart and put it in himself. He has the power of a lesser demon now, but still stronger than you." Lady explained.

"Exactly. Which, along with getting called Dante again, is why I'm not gonna stop at beating you, but killing you." I said, getting closer.

"No, you're not!" Batman said, stepping up threateningly.

"Ah, ah, ah. Contract." I said, holding it up and pointing to the line that stipulates that no member of the Justice League is allowed to impede my work or stop me from using what methods I see fit.

"Hang on? Did I say me? I meant me... And these guys." Joker said, raising his hand to the roller coaster tracks above us. The Joker themed trains stopped on the tracks above us and the 11 remaining clones of me dropped down in a line in front of Joker, all resembling the first one.

"What the?!" Lady demanded.

"More of them?!" I asked.

"There's a dozen in total. Strange must be keeping the last one with him." Batman said.

"Wrong. I killed it." I said.

"Let's get this party started!" Joker said, running off to a little throne he made for himself.

**Background music: "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore**

The clones all started cracking their knuckles and their necks by moving them side to side as Batman pulled out his Electric gun thing, Lady got Kalinna Ann ready again and I pulled out the Halo energy sword. They rushed in at different angles and we attacked. Batman shot one and kicked another one rushing at him, sending them both to the ground, but that kick also made him roll once and when he recovered into a kneeling position, there was one in front of him cracking his knuckles. One ran at me, but I slashed him with the sword and ran at two others, using their heads as stepping platforms and jumping onto one more behind them, taking him to the ground and body-surfing on him, spinning with an assault rifle I pulled out, taking 4 of them down and kicking the one I was surfing on in the head to finish him off.

One rushed in at Lady, but she blocked his punch aimed at her face with Kalina Ann, then brought her knee up to block his kick aimed at her hip. She swung Kalina Ann to bash him in the side of the head, but he managed to block it, so then she threw a round kick and hit him in the ribs on the side, causing him to go down a bit and allowing her to do a front kick to his face while leaning back to shoot another in the head and he ran in from behind her to the left. She then spun around as another one came from behind her and threw another round kick to his head, which he turned and blocked, but not the next one she sent to his hip, knocking him to the floor and allowing her to blow him up.

Now there were 5 left. They all turned their attention to Batman and two of them ran in and smashed him in the face with a haymaker, knocking him down and holding his legs out to the side so the last three could punch him in the balls as they did some type of flying ground punch attack, which I interrupted with a move similar to Dynamic Entry, knocking them all away to be shishkabob'd on Kalina Ann's bayonet. The other two let go of Batman's legs and went for me. As soon as I landed and was recovering, the one on the left threw a right hook, causing me to spin back from the damage and the next one did a jumping kick to my face and sent me flying a fair distance away, but that victory was short-lived as Lady ran in with the energy sword I had dropped and sliced them both in half. As I got up, Joker ran in, but as he got right in front of me, I pulled out a pistol and loaded him up with bullets from his stomach all the way up to his chin, which caused him to do a mini-backflip in midair and allowed me to throw a powerful punch to the small of his back sending him flying back and skidding across the ground, tearing his face up a bit. "I think we win." I said.

That must be the most epic fight we've written so far!

[Definitely top 5.]

"Truly my badassery knows no bounds." I agreed with ~the voices inside of my head~. I then walked up to Joker, pulled out a shotgun and aimed it right in his face. "Say hello to my not-so-little friend." I said, cocking the shotgun and glaring at him.

He merely laughed at this. "What are you waiting for?" He demanded. Suddenly, we heard noises from above us and debris began falling everywhere, almost completely burying me with only my eyes visible from beneath the rubble, trapping most of Batman's left half underneath debris and pinning down Lady's legs up to her thighs.

"Well that is complete and utter bullshit!" I said angrily from beneath the rubble, trying to re-arrange my broken bones and such.

Joker simply laughed at this and pulled out a knife, completely forgetting about Lady and I, going straight for Batman, grabbing him and pulling him in a bit. "Any last requests? How about a joke?" He asked, getting ready to finish him, when suddenly...

"How about a trade?" A familiar Russian accented voice rang out and Talia walked into the room. "Let him go. Take me in his place." She said.

"Not a good idea." Lady said weakly, grabbing Talia's ankle as she started walking past her, but she simply pulled away.

"I'll handle the jokes around here." Joker said, clearly not caring.

"Talia, what are you doing?!" Batman demanded.

"I represent the great Ra's Al Ghul. Head of the demon, master of the league of assassins." She said.

"He's not the head of the demons. There are people on a much higher level than him." I said from beneath the rubble.

"Well bully for you!" Joker said, still not caring.

"Free Batman and we will give you the secret of immortality." She said.

"[OH, SHIT.]" Lady, my voices and I all said at once.

"Don't do it, Talia! He'll be unstoppable!" Batman said.

"For you, he's already unstoppable." I said.

"What? You mean she's telling the truth?!" Joker asked, leaning over and standing on top of Batman. "Immortal?" He asked, walking over to Talia as she held out the sword that was previously at her hip.

"Do we have a deal?" She asked. He looked at the sword for a moment, then put the knife away and took it.

"No!" Batman, Lady and I shouted at once.

By the way, don't ask in the reviews "Sai, why didn't you stop him?!" We couldn't!

[At the moment, we're trapped under rubble and most of our bones are broken and turned around the wrong way. We're basically immobilized.]

"Oh, shut up!" Joker said, kicking Batman in the face. "After you my dear." He said, offering a polite bow to Talia as she walked up to Batman.

"We offered both you and Sai this chance, Batman. Now follow your heart." She said, tapping her heart, revealing she had a tracer on her chest before he passed out.

I started to move a little as they were about to leave, managing to get my upper body out of the rubble as Joker stopped next to Lady. "You know, I think I'll take you with us just in case, my dear. It always pays to have a bargaining chip." He said, grabbing the rubble and easily lifting it off Lady, knocking her out with a punch to the face while Talia grabbed her and carried her away bridal style.

"You BASTARD!" I shouted in rage, getting out more and getting ready to tear him apart, but then he threw the slab of debris that was on her legs into my face, stunning me and causing my vision to blur severely.

He was then in my face in a second. "Hey, Sai, you're looking tired. Why don't you take a nap?" He said, picking up another large piece of debris that had been the one in front of me when I was under the small dome of debris and lifting it high above his head. "Nighty night, Sai!" He said, barely able to contain his laughter, throwing it down on my face.

Then, blackout...


	7. All hell broke loose!

Everything was black, but then I started imagining Lady and how she was now held hostage by Joker and Talia, pushing me back into consciousness out of pure rage. It couldn't have been more than 10 minutes, but I then woke up, powering up and sending all the debris previously covering me sky-high. Picture that scene from Asura's Wrath when Asura comes back from Naraka the first time where there's the huge burst of energy and he's sending boulders and stuff flying. That's basically what I did. "JOKER!" I shouted in rage, looking around, finding Batman and easily flinging the debris off of him. "Come on! We gotta stop Joker." I told him, pulling him up off the ground..

"Right." He said, but then we both looked outside to see the TYGER helicopters gunning down everyone in Arkham City, trying to level the entire city.

"Oh, that's not good." I said.

"I guess we all know what Protocol 10 is now, right? If you're planning on stopping it, you need to hurry." Catwoman said, appearing from nowhere.

"Why would we want to stop it? They're killing all the criminals of this city, we should be saying 'Thank you.' Lady and Joker are my only priorities right now." I said.

"I'm on your side for once. Talia's in over her head. Joker can't be trusted." Batman said, then got on the earpiece in his cowl. "Oracle. Strange is launching missile strikes on Arkham City from Wonder Tower. You shut this place down. Joker's taken Talia and Lady. Sai and I are going after them." He said.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Batman, but I back you up a hundred percent on this." I said.

[Did we just agree with Batman?]

It's the sign of the apocalypse!

"Batman, you can't go after them. Hundreds will be killed. I need your help to stop the attack." She said.

"What do you need help with? You've got that computer you seem to be able to hack into everything with, you can just hack the choppers and make them stop." I suggested.

"He'll kill Talia and Lady. We need to stop him now." Batman said.

"And if she gets killed, I'm taking it out on Joker, but blaming it on all of you." I said.

"You need to think this through. Batman can't let all these people die." Alfred said.

"Maybe not, but I can. I only care about me and my wife right now. MAYBE Freeze, Catwoman and Ivy, but they're not necessity right now." I said.

Batman then looked like he got an idea. "That's it. Sai, you stop the choppers, then go after Joker and the girls. I'll deal with Strange." He said.

"Sounds like a plan." I said, texting Lance for a supply drop.

"I'm trusting you and counting on you. Please, save Talia as well." He said.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "You've got my word." I said as we both took off. Right on time after Batman was making his way to the tower, A large jet zoomed by and dropped a giant metal crate. "Perfect." I said, busting it open and climbing inside the vehicle inside it: an AT-ST from Star Wars. I then steered the bipedal vehicle in the directions of the helicopters and easily blasted each one out of the sky with two laser blasts each, laughing maniacally as I took them down and was completely protected from any of their attacks. "Okay, helicopters are taken care of. And it only took 2 minutes. Suck it, Batman." I said, climbing out of the vehicle and heading over to the theater, where Joker was announcing his big show or whatever it was.

To be precise, he then came on a bunch of big screens set up all over the city. "Hellooooo? Is anyone there?" He asked as his face came into view. "Hello, Batman. Sai, good to see you as well. I know you can both hear me." He said.

"Loud and clear, asswipe." I said.

"I've not caught you at a bad time, have I?" He asked, which I would not dignify with an answer. "I was worried you might have forgotten about little old me." He said.

"Nope, actually you're at the top of my list." I said.

And by that, we mean our list of people to kill!

[Sort of like a morbid version of a to-do list.]

He then leaned to the side in between two chairs Lady and Talia were tied to, pointing a pistol at the back of their heads. "Take a look at your girlfriends, who as you can see are in danger of having their pretty little brains splattered all over this camera." He said,

[That motherfucker did NOT just go there.]

I'm pretty sure he did. That means only one fate awaits him!

"DEATH..." I said demonically, glaring at him as if I could kill him through the screen.

"Ignore him, beloved! Let him die!" Talia said, obviously to Batman.

"Well, that's a nice though, but I have a better one. Come here and kill him, Sai! Rip his lungs out through his chest!" Lady snapped.

"[I love that woman.]"

"Oh, how romantic. Only problem is: I've never felt better. And we both know you really can't ignore me, can you?" He asked

"I try to up until the point I have to kick your ass, but now you've got my full attention. And not in a good way." I growled.

"So, listen, you two: I'm putting on a little show for you two. It's going to be a doozy. A real red carpet affair. You'd better hurry, though. If you take too long, the leading ladies may be found dead in their dressing rooms." He said.

"Okay, Joker. I'll show you the difference between you and a REAL demon." I said with a snarl.

[Joker is the first person who has messed with us this much and lasted so long. But no more. The clown asshole WILL DIE.]

Hell hath no fury like a Blade pissed off!

"Couldn't agree with you more guys." I said, walking to the leader, but then got blasted from every angle with sniper rifles. "Dammit!" I snapped, going back and observing the surroundings where they all were. I could take them all on head-on, as sniper rifles still can't do any lasting damage to me, but they do slow me down, which I could afford at the time. I found each one and smirked. "It's time for the great bear pokes." I said, landing in front of one of them alone on a building, tossing a pokeball and releasing Ursaring. "Wakka, wakka, whore." I said as the large bear Pokemon tore him apart. I then called him back, jumped to the building with the next sniper and released Beartic. "Papa bear says this bitch is to CONSCIOUS!" I said, emphasizing the word as the thug was knocked off the roof, jumping to the next roof and letting Ursaring out to deal with the sniper again. "The bear instincts family says hi." I said as Ursaring slashed open the thug's chest, then I turned to the 4th wall.

"Not sure if I got that line, right, by the way. Check RWBY theater 2 and get back to me on that one, wouldn't you?" I asked, before targeting the next sniper with Beartic again. "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Woody the SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I said as the sniper was thrown off the building. I then went after the next one with both of them, as the next 2 were both on top of the theater building. "The bear necessities would like you to get more acquainted with the ground." I said as Ursaring knocked down the first one, turning as Beartic grabbed the second one and held him in the air. "~Jummy bears~ bounce in here and there and in your FACE!" I said as Beartic did a shadow claw to the poor goon's face. I then sent Ursaring after the next one. "I hear you've been harnessing picinic baskets!" I said as Ursaring mauled him, then I took count. "Let's see, that's 7 lines... 4 snipers left." I said as Beartic lunged for the next one. "Pattington told me we should meet face to fist." I said as Beartic Mega Punched the thug's head off. Ursaring then charged for the last one on the rooftops, the only two left being right in front of the theater. "~Can't get enough of that golden crisp~ It's got the crunch with PUNCH!" I said as he used Fire Punch on the thugs, but that was the last of the great bear pokes on the video. "Dammit! No more funny memes to use now. Oh well." I said, bringing the two giant bear Pokemon back, simply dropping down and quickly snapping the necks of the last two thugs.

A job well done!

[Now for Joker.]

"Right. What the hell?!" I said, looking as Wonder Tower exploded with Batman and Ra's falling out of the top window. Batman flew down and tried to save Ra's, but he refused to allow this to happen, unsheathing his sword in an attempt to impale Batman, but he only impaled himself as Batman pushed away, then landing on the spike on the gateway into Arkham City. I whistled at the small surprised this created and the super-dead-ness of Ra's. "You know he dead." I said like Chris Tucker in Rush Hour, before entering the theater. I got to the main room, where Joker had his back to me while Lady and Talia were now standing, but their hands were still tied behind their backs. "Alright, Joker, I'm here. Let them go and I won't kick your ass too bad." I told him.

He turned to me with a glare at this. "Hurry up and take your seat, boy. The show's about to begin." He said, stepping behind Talia and kicking the back of her left calf, bringing her down onto her left knee and level with the barrel of Joker's pistol.

"Joker, we can talk this out. Don't do this. If you pull that trigger, I'm going to kill you." I said.

"Oh, NOW you want to talk? Too late, my boy." He said.

"Oh, is it, too late? If you think that way, then I've only got one thing to say: Look at yourself, now look at me, now look back at yourself, now back to me. See the difference? Now look at the ground, now back to me, now look back at the ground, now back to you. The girls are free and about to kick your ass." I said, pointing behind him.

"What?!" He asked, looking over his shoulder to see while I provided the distraction, Lady cut both of them free and took Kalina Ann off Joker's back while Talia took her sword off his hip, then plunged it into his back and out of his chest and spun him around, allowing Lady to stab him in the chest with Kalina Ann's bayonet, lifting him off the ground and blasting him in half and sending the two halves of his body to my feet.

"Problem solved." Talia said as the two of them jumped off the stage.

"He was right, I gotta hand it to him. That was a show worth seeing." I said.

"I liked the audience participation, too. Added a little flare the show needed." Lady said.

"I've always considered myself a good critic." I said.

"So, it's over, right?" Talia asked.

"I'd say that's a safe assumption." Lady said as they looked down at the two halves of Joker's body. "Most lesser demons wouldn't survive that, let alone a human with ONE demon organ." She explained.

"I don't know, it doesn't make sense." I said, thinking back to when Joker jumped me when he was dead in the chair before the heart surgery, realizing there was two of them and I remembered someone back from the asylum who could change his appearance into anyone he wanted. "Get down!" I told them... Too late. Talia was shot in the back and Lady was shot in the chest, both falling to the ground, but I caught Lady as Joker burst out laughing. They was still alive, but all things considered, I was more worried about her.

"He tricked us." She said weakly.

"Yeah, he got us. That doesn't matter now. Just hold on." I told her, fighting back tears.

"I'm not gonna make it. This suit doesn't protect from internal injuries. And you could get away with this, but humans never lived long with a bullet in their chest." She said, putting her hand on my cheek for a moment, before closing her eyes and her hand fell.

"Lady!" I said weakly, my voice breaking into a sob.

Did our first wife just die in our arms?!

I then pulled away the hand I had over her chest to stop the bleeding, seeing it didn't do a whole hell of a lot, as the hand was COMPLETELY soaked in blood. [Unfortunately, yes...]

Outside...

Joker's crew cheered as Lady and Talia were gunned down, as they were watching on one of the big screens and Batman looked on in horror. "Talia! NO!" He shouted, rushing inside the movie theater.

Back with us...

I gently set down Lady as I glared death at the real Joker, who was laughing on the balcony and the corpse of the fake Joker which I kicked away and then it recombined, becoming the monstrosity that is Clayface. "Surprise!" They both laughed.

"I had a great time playing that part. Next, I think I'll play yours, Sai!" He said, raising one hand as a giant hammer to crush me.

However, I glared at both of them with a rage I've never felt before. "How dare you..." I growled, unable to contain the unending fury. "That's my LADY!" I said, fire and demonic energy bursting out of me and going skyward in a massive pillar, easily destroying the entire roof above us and any helicopters and satellites unfortunate enough to be above me. Outside, everyone was in absolute shock and utter disbelief.

Back at the office...

The gang was watching the occurrence on the news on Dante's older TV, all shocked, as I had never displayed that kind of power before. "What the hell's that numskull doing?! He's at least half-a-mile away and I can still feel the tremors!" Nero said uneasily.

"The hell with feeling it, I can practically TASTE the power." Trish said.

Dante, for once in his life, was completely stoic. "I haven't felt a power like this for a while. Not since my fight against Mundus..." He said quietly, knowing what was happening.

"Dante, what is it?" Nero asked.

He turned to Nero and simply smirked. "Looks like the kid's got one of those now, too." He said.

"He's got what?" Nero asked impatiently, not following. Dante casually smirked at this...

Back in the theater...

Once the screaming and noises of fury stopped, so did the pillar of fire, revealing a new, pitch-black form in the place I once stood. A full foot taller, now standing at 6'10, a powerful muscular build, 3 clawed toes and along with what would be the big toe, but that resembled the large claw of most raptor dinosaurs, reptilian skin, a robe ripped and torn at the bottom in place of a trench coat, red markings on the chest, legs up to the knee, shoulders and forearms, 6 large, insectoid wings, piercing red eyes, razor sharp teeth horns on the side and top of its head and two hook-like spikes in the center on the back of each hand. "A Majin form." Dante finally explained.

"Well, well, WELL, Sai. That's a new look for you. Darker, scarier, and taller to boot. But that doesn't mean it'll save you. It'll just look good to die in." Joker laughed as Clayface once again swung his hand as a hammer in an attempt to crush me, but I brought up my hand and effortlessly stopped the attack, letting out a small growled before unleashing a powerful fire that quickly and completely solidified Clayface.

**This is what happens when clay reaches the heating process!**

**[It's also the first and LAST time Clayface will EVER mess with us.]**

"**DIIIIIEEEEEE!" **I shouted, my voice deep and demonic, grabbing Clayface, hurling him into the air and firing a beam of demon energy out of my palm that broke him apart and vaporized him.

"That was unexpected, but you're taking too long. I'll be late for my spa appointment." He said.

"**JOKER!" **I shouted and turned to him, glaring death at him.

"Say, you ain't looking too happy. I know what will cheer you up! How about a change in scenery?" He asked, pulling out a detonator and blowing up the ground beneath me. I fell a small distance and hit the ground below, landing perfectly on my feet. I was also impressed at my new durability. In my human form, that would've done considerable damage, in my devil form, it would've stung a bit and left a few marks, but in this form, I didn't even feel it. "You're looking happier already. Get in there and give him some company, boys! I've got a bat to deal with." Joker said, turning to face Batman.

"You'll pay for this, Joker." He said.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Didn't the kid tell you anything? I'm 10 times the man I used to be! I can snap you like a twig." Joker said, getting in a stance.

"I've dealt with worse." Batman said, running in. Joker easily brought his fist up and knocked Batman down and started stomping on him, but then turned towards the hole in the ground after all the goons he'd sent after me were all blasted back out of the hole as broken bodies, skeletons or charred corpses. Batman started chuckling on the ground at this. "You've created a monster. Now, even if you become immortal, something tells me he'll STILL stop you." He said.

"We'll just see about that." Joker said, kicking Batman in the head and knocking him out, turning towards the big hole in the ground.

"**JOKER!" **I shouted, easily jumping out of the hole and onto the balcony at him.

"Whoa!" He said, managing to dodge me and diving off the balcony into the hole, running towards the Lazarus pit. I jumped down after him, pulled my right hand back, releasing the two hooks, which were actual hook-like bones designed to reel in my victims, connected by chain-like bones and muscles. I then thrust my hand forward, lashing out the two hooks at Joker, stabbing him in the back and yanking him back over to me.

"**GET OVER HERE!"** I shouted, slamming my hand into his chest as I caught him, ripping out my stolen heart, looking at it for a moment, then eating it, biting into Joker's neck and ripping his throat out as well. **"You still have 3 minutes to live. I am going to make you suffer for those!" **I told him, literally ripping off all of his skin and tearing huge chunks of flesh out of him after that, clawing and stabbing him everywhere I could, reveling in his screams of agony and torture, before holding him up by what was left of his neck. **"SEE YOU IN HELL, JOKER!" **I snapped, creating another massive pillar of hellfire and demonic energy around us, roasting him, still screaming and writhing in pain, to a crisp, now a charred corpse like all the others, leaving all the thugs outside, especially Harley, both shocked and devastated. I then turned towards the camera displaying this to everyone in Arkham City and smirked, holding the burnt corpse above my head before ripping it in half, throwing the two halves to the ground, turning into a pile of ash upon impact.

"Sai! That's enough!" Batman said, dropping down.

"**The clown is DEAD!" **I shouted, raising my foot and stomping on the ashes, grinding them beneath my foot until Lady and Talia's bodies fell from above and hit the floor not too far away. "Lady!" I said, reverting back and rushing to her side as Batman did the same for Talia. "Okay, um... Come on, babe, come back to me!" I said, ripping out my own heart and replacing hers with mine, then bringing her over to the lazarus pit, hpoing to bring her back and make her stronger than ever. "Come on, baby. Come on..!" I said hopefully and expectantly. The whole process ran through, but nothing happened. "No..." I said, dropping to my knees, then pulling out Fire and Ice, putting them up to my chest, creating a charge shot and firing.

"No!" Batman said, running to my side as I fell to the ground.

"I need her. Without her, I'm a monster. She was my only control in the world and now she's gone. I can't be in this world without her. But tell Moka, Nora and Pyrrha I'm sorry. They were... Too good... for... me..." I said, starting to fade from the world. Then right at that moment, Lady rose up from the pit, perfectly fine. "Oh, that is bullsh-..." I started weakly before finally fading from this world.

"Sai! SAI!" They both shouted, trying to shake me and revive me, but all for naught...

The next world...

I was in a lovely field in what looked like autumn, trees with changing leaves everywhere, but it did look peaceful. I looked around and saw a young boy about 7 years old with silver hair, dresses in black sweat pants, a red T-shirt and a black trench coat, sitting on the ground, playing with a soccer ball. He looked so familiar. "Hello, little boy. What's your name?" I said in a friendly tone, waving to him.

"Sai. Sai Blade." He said.

"That's... my name, too." I said, realizing this was my younger self.

"I know." He said.

"You look so... so young and innocent." I said, as this was before I had gotten my first taste of bloodshed and war.

"No one ever gets old around here. Look." He said, pointing to a springer spaniel and a pittbull, two of my old dogs, one from when I was a baby and the other from 2 years ago.

"Freckles! Doobie!" I said happily.

[Yes, we had a dog named Doobie.]

Our dad named him!

"Come on, let's go play some games." The kid said, getting up, waving for the dogs to follow us.

"I think I'd like that." I said, walking along with him.

Back in the world of the living...

Batman had revived Talia as well and they were all wondering what to do with me, when suddenly, Draco came in from nowhere. "Hi, I'm an expert. I thought you might need some help. Don't worry, he'll be fine." He said, kneeling beside my body. He then rubbed his hands together and looked at me carefully, before pulling out something that looked like a golden skull.

"Hurry up, he's dying!" Lady said.

"It's the end, but the moment has been prepared for." He said, smashing the skull against my head, causing me to half-councisously jump up before laying back down a bit.

"Sai! Come on, Sai!" Lady called out.

Back in the other world...

We hadn't gotten that far yet, but then I heard Lady calling out my name, to which I laughed triumphantly. "Ha, ha! I'm not dying! Screw you, kid!" I said, pushing him to the ground, running the opposite way the kid was taking me. "I'm getting out of here! Get me out of this field!" I said, returning to the world of the living.

Back in the world of the living...

I jumped up once again, holding my head. "Wow, what a trip." I said dizzily.

"Sai, thank god!" Lady said, hugging me tightly.

"And just like that, everything worked out fine." I said, hugging back and fist-bumping Draco.

"Except for the part where you murdered Joker and the majority of people we saved from Protocol 10." Batman said angrily.

"BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!" I snapped.

So, everything worked out fine. The cops cleared out Arkham, brought all the inmates back to Blackgate Prison, except for Freeze and Nora, both of whom were now healthy and back to normal from my blood, the gang and I went back to the office, fixed it up and I bought another 70-inch plasma widescreen TV with Netflix, Gotham was cured and Batman got two new and useful companions out of it, as I was nice and gave him a Mightyena and Houndoom. Happy endings all around. Mostly...

With Harley Quinn in the Steel Mill...

She was crying and holding a picture of Joker. "Oh, Mr. J... I miss you so much..." She said, before her tears and sad face turned to anger and rage. "Sai... You and Batman are gonna pay for what you did to Mr. J!" She screamed.


	8. Harley Quinn's Revenge

I was chilling at the office as usual a couple of days after the crazy events of Arkham City, watching a romantic comedy with Lady, both of us feeling better than we ever had before, when there was a knock at the door. "Ugh! I just got a whole bunch of free time, who's ruining my vacation?!" I asked, getting up and flinging the door open. "WHAT?!" I demanded.

"Sai, we need to talk." Commissioner Gordon said, him being the one who had knocked on the door.

"Whatever happened, Commissioner, I didn't do it. And I'm on vacation, I'll talk to you later." I said, starting to close the door until he put his foot in the way.

"No, you're not! We need your help. Harley Quinn broke out of Blackgate with a bunch of her thugs and kidnapped a dozen of my men. She got Batman, too." He said.

"So? Doesn't he have at least 3 other vigilantes who work with him you can call. We got Catwoman, Nightwing, Robin, go get one of them! Hell, if you pay Deathstroke enough, he'll even do it!" I said.

"No. There's something wrong. No one can take her on. She grabbed all my boys herself-" He started.

"Pause, tho." I said to the 4th wall.

"She ran into a wall of automatic gun fire, took at least 50 bullets and STILL grabbed my guys. She's not human anymore. And when something's not human, that's when we call you in." He said.

I thought for a moment, remembering back to when I saw Harley tied up in the Steel Mill, thinking about what she said.

Flashback...

"Well, look who it is? What do you want, demon punk? Come to stick the knife in some more? Well go on then, I don't care!" She said.

I looked her over quickly before speaking again. "I don't see a knife sticking in anywhere, but if you want I can fix that." I said, pulling out a machete.

"Go ahead! It won't do you any good! I got a demon heart too now! Mr. J cut his heart in half, then both halves turned into a whole heart, then he swapped the new heart with mine! I can heal from anything, just like you and Mr. J. I just... Don't have the strength you two got. YET." She said.

Back to now...

"Oh, yeah, that's right... Well, I'm pretty sure you could look for services elsewhere, I'm not available." I said, starting to close the door.

"Yes, you are, Sai." Lady said in a stern tone.

"Oh, come on, babe. I thought we were enjoying a little bit of time together, just you and me." I said.

"Well, maybe once you finish there, we could have some time together in bed. Just you, me and Pyrrha." Lady said in a seductive tone.

"Commissioner, you've got yourself a deal." I said less than half a second after she said that, taking off towards Arkham City, leaving a trail of fire behind me.

Back inside, Lady smirked and rolled her eyes. "Works every time." She said.

Inside Harley's hideout...

A thug was patrolling an area with a TV, which kept jumping back to a recording of Joker saying "You left me to die". He tried banging on it a little to fix it, until I appeared silently behind him.

"You know what they say: Too much TV is bad for you." I said, shoving his head in the TV.

So, we just gotta beat up Harley, save Batman and the cops and we're as good as laid, right?!

[Plain and simple. Shouldn't take us more than half an hour.]

Suddenly, 3 more thugs poured into the room, ready to fight. "It's Sai! Kill him!" The one in the center said.

"You know, it's historically been a HORRIBLE idea to stand in between me and getting laid." I said.

Flashback...

It was back at Yokai and Lady and I just had a small romantic dinner. "Meet me in your dorm in 5 minutes." Lady said sassily, strutting away.

"YES, MA'AM!" I said excitedly, I started to walk off to get certain "items" that would prevent certain "unforeseen accidents", when suddenly, Kurumu appeared in front of me.

"OR, you could ditch her and take ME to your dorm right now." She said, striking a sexy pose until I threw her out of the way.

"MOVE, bitch! Get out 'da way, get out 'da, bitch, get out 'da way." I said, rushing off to do what I was doing before.

End flashback...

"Well, don't worry about that, because we're gonna fuck you up!" The center thug said.

"Oh, really?" I said, pulling out a pistol and shooting each of them in the face. "Now then. Next ass on the list of asses to kick: Harley's." I said.

And what an ass it will be to kick!

[Maybe we should call in back-up in case Harley has a trick or two up her sleeves.]

"Right. Maybe the Hulk." I said, texting him.

[I was thinking someone who's less destructive and has more brain power.]

What?! Why?! He already texted back! "On Hulk way, looking for motorcycle."

[NO! Hulk will just make things worse. What if Harley has a bomb or something? What is Hulk gonna do, swallow it?]

"Ugh, fine." I said.

With Hulk...

He managed to find a motorcycle and was on his way when he got a text, looking at it. _Nevermind. We got this. Sry :(._ "Hulk sad!" He said sadly.

Back to us...

"Okay, I'll call in Draco or something." I said, texting him instead.

"Shut up, you morons! I'm trying to think!" Harley snapped at the cops.

"I wonder if it hurts?" I said.

"Does it hurt?" The cop asked.

[Well, I sure hope SOMEBODY picks up that phone.]

Because we f*cking CALLED IT~!

"Shut your stupid mouth! You're just lucky I need you later." Harley said.

"Okay, we can rip through this wall and kick her ass right now, let's do it!" I said.

[We need to find Batman first.]

Dammit!

"Curse you, plot convenience! Alright, let's go." I said, continuing on.

"Please. The GCPD will storm this place. You'll all get killed." One of the cops said.

"Really? I. Don't. Think so." She said.

"She doesn't think much at all." I said.

[Yes, but she does have a demon heart and has already taken 50 bullets, so we DO know they can't kill her.]

What a fustercluck!

"Right then. Okay, skipping ahead to the next important part of the plot." I said, pulling out a remote and fast-forwarding. I soon entered an area with 6 thugs, 3 on each side of something. That something in the middle of their lines was Batman's belt. "Well, looks like I'm picking up a trail." I said silently rushing in, doing a badass flip and landing in a crouching position in the middle of all of them, an uzi in each hand.

"Aw, shit it's Sai!" One said.

"Take him out!" Another said.

Okay, I'm in the middle of all of them, now pretend I'm in the center of a compass and they're all the different points except North and South. I then brought up the uzis and shot the two in front of me at Northeast and Northwest, then the ones at Southeast and Southwest, crossing my arms and shooting the guys at East and West, then shot again at the ones at Northeast and Southwest, then again at East and West, Northwest and Southeast, East and West, Northeast and Southwest, Northeast and Northwest, Northwest and Southeast and finally, East and West one more time before holding my guns out to the side and they all fell back dead. "Revy ain't got shit on me." I said.

~We got the moves like Jagger~!

[Why can't EVERYONE kick as much ass as we are?]

"Because then there would be TOO many badasses which would make everything boring." I said, picking up the belt. It shocked me after a few seconds, but compared to Trish's lightning, it was nothing. "Okay, if there is a rest of him, it should be around here somewhere." I said.

Let's search the room carefully!

[Something tells me Harley has him up further ahead in a larger area. Most likely for a live execution.]

"The cops will NEVER stop shooting at me if we let that happen. Let's go." I said, fast-forwarding and continuing on. I beat the living shit out of a lot more guards and finally arrived in a big room where Batman was held up in the air with a string by a giant monument to Joker, looking like he's been beaten all to hell. Like a giant bat pinata. And on occasion (every 2 minutes) the hand that wasn't holding Batman would punch him in the face.

"Damn, that's cruel." I said.

This managed to stir batman for a moment. "Sai... Save... The cops... first." He said before being punched and knocked out again.

"I've got a buddy coming over soon, he'll get right on that. For now, let's get you out of here." I said, releasing a blast of demon energy from my palm, blasting off the arm that kept punching him, then personally ripped off the other arm. I stopped and looked at the rest of the monument for a second. "You know what?" I said, pulling out Fire and Ice, charging up a shot and blasting the head off the statue. "Much better!" I said.

"You! What have you done?!" Harley said in a mixture of rage and despair, weeping at the sight of the destroyed shrine and glaring at me with the intent to kill.

"I didn't like it, but now I think it looks much better." I said.

"Oh, Mr. J! Look at what he's done to you! Again!" She wept, then turned to me again.

"Well, let's see how you like fighting my boys!" She said, the room filling up with a small army of her thugs, some of them carrying guns, having followed her in from where she kept the cops.

I laughed at this. "Man, Batman, you were right, she IS dumb. She left the cops COMPLETELY UNGUARDED." I said with a smirk as the charging TITAN thug she had was brought to a stop by a blood spear through his throat.

"Hey, Sai!" Draco said.

"Hey, great timing, buddy! Okay, you take Batman and get the cops, I got this." I said, tossing Batman to his feet.

"Aww, you get to have all the fun." He said.

"Hey, who's the leader of team BDSS? Not you. Me. Go to it." I said.

"Fine." He said, grabbing Batman and teleporting away.

"You... You've ruined EVERYTHING!" She screamed.

"I'm the good guy, you're the bad guy. It's my job to stop you." I said, shrugging.

"All of you! KILL HIM!" She ordered.

They all rushed in as I shot all the snipers, aiming the guns at them and bringing them to a stop. I then put the gun away and looked at them seriously. "Look, I'll give you ONE chance to run away and ditch her. I promise you, it's much worse to die by my hand than hers. It's your choice of course, but I'm just... Saiyan." I said, powering up to Super Saiyan.

"It's good that you've got the red hair now. Because they're about to beat you like a redheaded stepchild. AREN'T YOU, BOYS?" She asked through gritted teeth, glaring at them in a look that basically said "kill him or I kill you".

"Yes, ma'am!" They all shouted at once, getting ready to attack, but I was ready. One came at me from the front off to the right, to which I threw a left punch to take him down, then brought my arm back to elbow a guy who also rushed in from the front. Then I fired a huge blast of demon energy at all the ones charging directly at me, vaporizing them and greatly reducing the number to only 8. I grabbed 2 more and literally smashed their heads together, then threw their bodies at the others, sending them flying into a wall and breaking them into pieces like in Happy Wheels.

"That does it! I'm taking care of you myself! I even made some adjustments to my hammer, just for you. Like it?" She said, pulling out her hammer, which was now covered in spikes.

"To be honest, it's really gaudy." I said.

"Say that to my face!" She said, running in and swinging the hammer, but I did an outside crescent kick to stop the hammer and bring it to the ground. "It's gaudy." I said, before delivering an uppercut that sent her into the rubble of the Joker shrine. "I think I win." I said, walking away.

"Nice work... But you, the cops, the bat and you're little friend won't be making it out of here alive. I've got a few tricks left up my sleeves." She said weakly, a garage-like door opening to reveal a bomb.

"Is that all?" I asked, hurrying over, grabbing the bomb, hurling it into the air, through the roof, then I blasted it with a fireball to destroy it in midair where no one would be hurt.

"There are 2 more." She said.

"Fuck, I knew this was too easy. We're gonna need to bring in more than just Pyrrha for all the work I had to do here." I said, rushing off to find the other bombs. Fast-forwarding again, I managed to very quickly find the bombs, kill the thugs foolish enough to stand in my way and save everyone AGAIN. "There. That wasn't so hard. Is that all you got, Harley?" I called out triumphantly.

[Um...]

No, don't do that!

"As a matter of fact, no, it's not! You can't stop me, I won't let you!" She said.

"We'll have to see about that." I said.

"I've got a surprise for you!" She said.

"Shit!"

[I KNEW it was too early to get proud of ourself.]

"It will make my Joker proud. Are you man enough to come find us?!" She asked.

"More of a man than Joker was. In many more ways than one." I said with a smirk.

Ha! Bigger dick joke!

[We hit all the spectrums of humor.]

"Ugh. There is WAY too much to do in these little after the story missions." I said, fast-forwarding one more time, getting back to Joker's shrine.

"What? Did you think it was gonna be that easy?" She asked.

"Considering how OP I am for this game, yes." I said.

"Well, think again, loser!" She said, activating the robots in the room. "Oh, no! You weren't expecting that, were you?!" She said.

"I knew they had to come into play at some point." I said, melting one of them.

"Destroy him, my robots!" She said.

"Fuggetaboutit." I said, electrocuting two more and overloading their circuits and making them explode. I then burnt another one, turning it orange, but not melting it. "Chemistry 101, what happens when you rapidly cool hot metal?" I asked, then turned to the 4th wall. "I don't exactly know either, but it worked on The Fantastic 4." I said, casting Waterga on it and solidifying it, making it an immobile statue. "Next." I said, shooting a water spell at two more and frying their circuits once again. "3 left? I think I'll do THIS the old fashioned way... GUNS!" I said, shooting two more and leaving one left. "Okay, seriously, no weapons or magic for this one." I said, doing an outside crescent kick with my right leg to catch its head once, then swung around my left leg, taking the robots head off and falling to the ground, but I quickly jumped up. "Next?" I asked.

"This is it! Just you, me and the only thing that can keep this place from going sky high!" She said, revealing a bomb in the chest of the Joker shrine.

"Whoa, good thing I went back and edited so I only took the head off." I said. I then jumped up to where she was, punched her in the face and took the detonator. I pressed the button, but nothing happened. "What?!" I asked.

It's not working!

[Oh, shit...]

"Yeah, that's right, dumbass! It won't do you any good!" She said.

"[Oh, this is gonna suck!]"

Outside...

Gordon was running up to the building when it suddenly exploded, launching him back and onto his back. "No." He said, dreading what happened to Batman and the other cops.

Another, higher up explosion then happened, launching Harley and I out of the building. "Okay, new rule... I am never helping the cops again." I said, getting up, then looking around. I saw Batman and the cops, but not Draco. "Where's Draco?" I asked.

"He went back in for you." Batman asked.

"He's still in there?!" I asked, turning around and was about to go in, but they both grabbed me and restrained me for a moment until I realized there was nothing I could do. "Nooooo!" I said, dropping down on both knees and raising my fists to the heavens. "I shouldn't have slept with his wife!" I said grievingly. I looked at the burning wreckage until I felt a familiar presence right beside me.

"What's the matter, wittwe fewwa? You wose youw best fwiend?" He asked teasingly, leaning beside me.

"Ah, you son of a bitch!" I said, grabbing him and hugging him. "Whoo! Come on, let's go split a calzone, partner!" I said excitedly, happy he wasn't dead.

"Hell yeah! Wait, where's Harley?" He asked.

"Over here, dumbasses!" She shouted, about 30 feet away, aiming a large type of rocket launcher I don't know the name of, but it's rectangular and can shoot more than one rocket.

"[Oh, shit!]" We all said at once, until a massive green figure landed behind her, grabbed her by the leg and held her upside-down in midair, causing her to drop the weapon.

"Hulk got her!" Hulk said, holding her up.

"Well, that's wrapped up, I'm out of here." I said, leaving along with Draco.


End file.
